Andy Edwards nearly 9 years since we lost you.

A leap year is now and will always be kind of strange time for me it will never reflect a good or normal year but will always be present with me for as long as I live as a day after the anniversary of my bros death . The thing is my brother departed from his life this world and our planet on the early morning of the 28^th of February 2015 and so the first year anniversary of his death was a leap year, so this year is not just an anniversary of his death but an anniversary of another leap year taking place without him or the third lep year to be exact and 9 years in total time since he took his life.

I still hate the fact that he felt willing, able and hurt so bad and in some ways determined enough to take his own life. Me and my Dad had headed to my Dads house waiting for my brother to travel up from Cornwall to Devon, the night he took his own life so my Dad could discussing with him how much money he could borrow in order to help him change or turn his life around. Don’t get me wrong he paid his own way and was not broke he just wanted a career change and financial help to help him sort things out and get his career back on track. My brother was worried that his career was at a loose end and he was about to be made redundant from his job.

At the time you think these things are certainly going to be stresses for him but not enough to kill a man! I have found this year a struggle which i have not been afraid to admit in my life and in my posts and thought there is no magic solution I am doing ok and continuing to try and sort myself out. But that one night, that one night when my brother felt very bad and in a dark space he took the ultimate sanction and judgement on himself taking his life and from there we all have to pick up the pieces and continue with out ever being able to go back and retake the steps we have now taken after he left us.

A death ripples through other lives in time and space it burns, hurts and results in an unfillable void. If you or anyone you might know are ever are in that zone all I can say from having lost a brother, friend and seen my parents lose their first born son is please help and try to think again and ask them or yourself, does this really have to cause the damage and hurt you are about to cause to the ones you love, is there absolutely no alternative for you or them to no longer being on earth and alive today.

I went to a karaoke night tonight and sung my little heart out and got talking to a couple of good friends about my brother and his loss and found a good connection with them that i did not already have concerning the situation.

So sad 9^th anniversary of your departing Andy Edwards will occur on 28th February 2024, I will always look forward to seeing you on the other side, but not just yet my brother and friend, not just yet.