Life after not dating

From as long as I can remember as a teenager I always hoped and in some ways even took it for granted that I wanted to go out on dates with girls that I liked or was falling in love with that were falling for me too. I was a cute kid even if I do say so myself and so that part of the battle as a teenager was ok. But there is more to having just cute looks as a teenager to having strong and long lasting relationships with people that you want to fall in love with.

The photo is of me in my 20’s on a date on New Year’s Eve in Spreyton with a lovely girl called Robyn. She is the girl in the middle of this photo. It was all going so well until I tried to explain I was a bit mad in a bit of a mad way. She was lovely and I was upset that we broke up but there was a lot going on at that time so I could not focus all my emotions on our break up we were only together for a very short time like 3 dates over about a month anyway.

At 46 I know feel my lifecycle time to have a normal family life and life partner has now well and truly past and to be honest I feel more sorry for my parents than I do myself concerning the idea that their family line will not continue with me and I will not go on to reproduce. They do have one grandchild from my brother but we lost contact with him through Covid-19 and through his silence he has made it very clear that he chooses to have no contact with our family, and like with any relationship it has to be two way in order to work and evolve organically that just is not going to happen.

Back to my relationship statues and I have been happily single for what could be about 15 years now, I enjoy being  independent of others and feel very much safe in my own skin and hopefully have a secure roof over my head, good friends and a life I enjoy living. I cannot say I have always had that in life and have found life tremendously hard at times when in relationships or when I thought I loved someone and that love was unrequited. I  am sure I have emotionally matured in the last 10 years which could have happened had I been in a relationship or not and so don’t know if the comfort and ease that I have with myself and positive mental attitude has happened because I am single or because I am just older and have different outlook on life.

I have not even come close in the last 15 years to a date, relationship or anything further. I don’t ask and so I don’t get and that really does suit me fine for now (I am not saying I want to be like this forever but have no intention of changing or forcing myself to change for now).

I have been asked twice in the last few years to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend and even though the thought is very flattering when asked by women that I like and respect who likes and respects me enough to see about setting me up with one of their friends it really is lovely. Some other friends have also been trying to encourage me to go speed dating which I have done once in the past and it was a lot of fun. But there are a few reasons why I just don’t want to do the dating thing right now and I don’t think I will be able to resolve or square the circle any time soon.

I might be wrong but it feels like my life is a delicate ecosystem of a combination of things that work in union with each other that makes me content, happy and productive. I fear if I adjust or take one of those things away I could mess it all up. I don’t feel that I have to be in a relationship. I live in a sociable city with people that also have their own challenges and amongst the vast majority of my friends in this city being single is not uncommon or something to be feared,  that really does suit me but it does not suit everyone.

I have had times in the past where just one thing going wrong has sent everything to mess up and that is particularly painful when risking losing, job, home, friends, freedom and hurting my health and so I feel in life and relationships I try not to throw caution to the wind and risk it all for what might just be an unobtainable fantasy or dream. Though all hope is not lost just writing this down does make me a little bit sadder about the truth of this situation and feel it’s my responsibility to try and change the situation if I want the situation to change.

I feel my generation of friends do not really feel comfortable operating in the network that is dating sites although many people just a few years or decades younger than me enjoy them and find it a great way to meet people. Alas I used to like to try and get to know a person before dating or telling them what they are getting themselves into which seems very old fashioned now.

When people like and respect get into relationships I am very happy for them and I think that is a positive outlook and I always hope they do well. You can’t really predict who will stay together for how long or how they do it. Though I am sure a great deal of patients, co-operation and understanding is required by both sides.

Imagine Dragons – Demons

To sing, to see and support

Went out to a local bar to sing karaoke last Thursday and met and sang a few songs with some friends There was also a lovely girl sitting on our table called Leanne and she was out with a friend of hers who was visiting from the states, he got up and sang some songs extremely well, you could say he had a certain X factor about him.

I feel that this should come with a disclaimer along the lines of if your offended by being termed weird then your not weird your just beautifully differernt

On the night Leanne did say to us that he was a great musician that was the lead singer in a band and had sung with many other musicians too. His name is Luke Spiller and he is in a band called The Struts’ I looked them up on spotify the next day and could not believe it that they have nearly 2 million downloads of his bands songs every month on the site and one of his last singles was with Robbie Williams too. It turns out he was over here to sing at a concert at the O2 Arena in Birmingham which is a massive venue in the UK. This was so cool too that him and Leanne just happened to rock up in our little bar and he sat on our table had a chat got drunk and sang songs just like the rest of us, but the difference being he could actually.

The following night I had an emotional reunion with a women called Kristie who is the daughter to the woman that was my brothers fiancé prior to when my brother took his own life, so had Andy not committed suicide she would have been a daughter in law. She was one of the people with my brother desperately trying to stop him from taking his life right in the horrible night that he took his own life, and it was such a horrendous experience for a lovely young woman to go through. I have not seen her in nearly seven years and so we had a good catch up hugged and exchanged memories and emotions about Andy and offered each other support and I got this photo of us to when we caught up.  

kristy and me catchup

I also do something which I dont normally do and made an implusive purchase on website from https://www.vkease.com/

I purchased 4 wooden carved animals with lights on them I hope to display them on my window sill one is a wolf and one is an eagle as pictured below I hope they look as good when they arrive.

New Radicals – You get what you give

Onions have layers, like people have secrets

I started this blog on 1st February 2020 nearly two years ago hoping to shed a skin or two of layers of my perception of life and write about my mental health experiences and my view on politics, loves and life. It’s such a good form of self expression having a blog and just as much fun reading and seeing what other people view and share too. I tend to go through phases of wanting to read others, wanting to look over my own and also wanting to write on my own or find new ones to follow.

But one thing I still have not had the ability to do yet on here is come out about my mental health (both past and present) and I am not sure if or when I ever will. The thing about publishing on the World Wide Web is although not many people do read this blog, it has the potential for anyone I know or even don’t know to read it and judge me. That judgment might then result in someone thinking less of me which is not a big deal, but if that judgement resulted in a work colleague or employee then making life difficult for me or even causing me to lose a job over then that would be a huge problem for me.

I work hard to pretend to be normal in a work environment and that hard work enables me the comfort of sleeping with a roof over my head in my own flat in a comfy bed and with relatively few nightmares. To come out about my mental health difficulties on here makes me feel that I risk all of that. So I don’t really discuss it or go into great detail about it really so as not to be at risk of being found out. Maybe my circumstances will change one day or something like that but I feel safe in my own skin leaving it as it is for now.

I take very few photos of myself although I have found one that a friend took in the most awesomely friendliest bar in Exeter called the Arcade that I was in recently.

Me, Will, Kev, and Nate (all legends on their own barstools)

Trip to Dublin in Ireland

Just come back from a wonderful visit to Dublin in Ireland. This visit has been booked and planned for since July. We stayed on the other side of the river from the Temple Bar pictured above.

Memorial to Lead singer of Thin Lizzy – Philip P Lynott

Managed to do some sightseeing, and visited the Guinness Brewery. Listened to lots of live music in a few bars or from buskers on the street, tasted some of the local cuisine and drank some world-famous Guinness as well as some local beers too.

My pint from the Gravity Bar at the top of the Guinness brewery building

I travelled over with a friend called Matt and the last time we were both able to go to Ireland at the same time was about 20 years ago so it was a great opportunity for us both to go there again.

View from the Gravity Bar at Guinness Factory

Due to Covid-19 restrictions in bars and restaurants I think it was also just as well that there were not to many of us going at once. Table service was taking places in most bars and restaurants and it was easier for them to find a table for the two of us instead of a big group.

Guinness mascot the Toucan

The above photo is of some of the collection of Guinness marketing memorabilia taken from inside the Guinness factrory tour that we went on.

I really was hoping that the world was getting used to managing the Covid-19 pandemic by now, but with the new variant now blowing up and daily announcements getting worse and worse while we were in Ireland it was a little unsettling at times to be away from home.

It really is a treat to travel and I am so glad we were able to go and make memories and take a few photos, but being back home safe and well is also something to be savoured.

One of Dublins own bands – Thin Lizzy with Whiskey In The Jar

People are strange! But I am stranger.

Friends relationships seem to be shifting on rocket fuel at the moment, in such a fast motion it’s as if there is a huge hurry for those that can enter them and such hope and joy for them when things are going right and a huge disappointment for those that can’t or for when things go wrong.

I am very lazy and shy when it comes to relationships. I am very happy in my own skin and don’t want to jeopardise my somewhat fragile state of contentment, happiness and positive control over my own life. When it comes to make ups, break ups, heart missed a beat moments and heartbroken temper tantrums I have been there got the t-shirt.

There are still many strengths, weaknesses, threats and opportunities that are out there in life. My job is tough at the moment but I accept that and make the most of it. It’s a place in time doing something that I want to do and would not know where else I could be and can’t really imagine myself doing anything different right now. But I still keep my eyes open to possibilities that come up.

Well that’s my kind of attitude to life in general at the moment. Duck and dive, roll with the punches and keep my eyes open for the next trick shot.

Mumford & Sons – Blind Leading The Blind

Birthday Bash

Well it was my birthday on 12th July so had planned to go out with some friends for drinks on Saturday night which was great and ended with me safely home after a great night out. Then on Monday 12th July I had booked some time off work and met up with some friends for a meal which was lovely and the first time we had all been together since last March. I then went on to a bar on my way back to mine which is usually a lot of fun and had a couple of drinks on my own before heading home at 8pm.  

All was going well Saturday it was a fab night and met some new people as well as had fun with some old friends. It’s like I am playing catch-up now and meeting with friends that I have not seen since pre-pandemic times.

Things went a bit sour in the last bar I went into on Monday because suddenly it appeared I was fair game to shout threats to and give insults to simply for where I worked. As I work for the council in environmental health and a very drunken stranger was told by the owner of the pub where I worked which results with threats of potential violence and the only compliment coming from this complete stranger nut job was that well at least I’m not a traffic warden because they are worse than environmental health officers. Gee thanks pal!

He was taking about getting the lads around to sort me out, bare in mind this is a drunken complete random stranger, that I had only just seen and not even spoken to at all, who felt it amusing or necessary to hurl this drunken abuse at me.

I always try to be careful when I am out not to act like an idiot, bring to much attention to myself or in anyway put myself into a situation that could lead to violence or for want of a better possibly slightly melodramatic way put myself in a situation that could result in my untimely death due to violence at the hand of another.

There is something about masculine culture that can result in violence occurring for some people especially when alcohol is involved and the last thing I want to hear the next day or when I am unlucky or lucky enough to wake up in hospital or pick myself up from the floor is ‘Oh sorry mate it was not my fault I was drunk’!

I think like most males that have lived and been around the block a few times I have in the past been assaulted and it’s a nightmare situation that no one asks or volunteers for and I am so angry when someone tries to put me in that type of situation. In my younger days I used to make a move to try and stop fights when I saw them happening and that mostly went well and either stopped or prevented violence. But I am older now and feel like I should not be stepping in any more if I can help it.

I am not going to stop going out but I am also not wanting to put myself in harm’s way due to some drunken idiot the suddenly finds a kinship with violence due to how many beers are in his body.

I was the one that had to wake up my father in the middle of the night and tell him my brother’s life had ended. If I can help it I never want anyone else to have to wake either of my parents to tell them that my life has now been lost too.

Rag’n’ Bone Man – Human

Taking a little time out

Well I am just coming to the end of a week off work, had an eclectic mix of things that I have done, went and caught up with some friends that I have not seen in over a year at a barbeque I made time to sort my home out a little too, taking out some stuff to the recycling centre and also some charity donations to the Oxfam shop.

Also made time to go to a friend’s birthday which was a great quite night in a local bar on a Monday where said friend was running around in a dinosaur suit, I have not laughed that much in a long time, a good night was had by all.  

Kyle’s Birthday Suit!

So I will be back in work tomorrow and a little nervous because I am so darn tired today and have not left the flat since Thursday. I have no idea why I am so darn tired. It’s been a great week though.

I have not lost any weight this week though but I think that is down to the drinking of Guinness on a couple of nights out and also eating larger meal sizes than I have been used to of late. I did not put any weight on also which is good.

Still in two minds presently about the unlocking of lockdown, it’s lovely for us all to be catching up with people we have not seen for a long time and also be just around people in general. But you just hope that the vaccines continue to work their magic and we get on top of the virus in the long term.

A day to remember them

A day of mixed emotions today I have been advised that I no longer needed to shield and so stepped out of my home and walked to work this morning and returned to the office. Its the first time I have walked into Exeter since I had my coronovirus jab, so things on the up for me personally.

But the lives taken of two young people in Exeter were also weighing on my mind. Firstly Lorraine Cox who was murdered in the Summer of 2020 had a jury find the murderer guilty of killing her and he is due to be sentenced next Wednesday. On the night she was last seen she was drinking in a local bar I drink in which is a lovely and friendly place, always welcoming to people who come through its doors and little did the people drinking with her on her last night know when she left what would next happen to her that terrible night in August 2020. It really has been deeply dark time for some of her friends and family that know and love her.

Lorraine Cox RIP

Secondly there is a wonderful young man, younger that is than me that very recently died in Exeter and his funeral was today. His name was Trevor Garman and he was a local legend within his lifetime. He had such a warm and worldly way to him and when we would get talking he was always very welcoming, kind and a great teller of stories and a champion of social justice to boot. Plus he made a great pirate and ran the most awesome karaoke night in town, where even I would occasionally get up and sing. He was always so warm and welcoming to the people that got up and sang and really made you feel supported up on the stage and was always making you want to go back for more.

Trevor Garman RIP

Sadly after posting this page I have another soul to add to the list of the lost humans

I was lucky enough to meet and work at the Devon Wildlife Trust with a wonderful woman called Emma Parkinson some 20 years ago. We used to chatter in the office, go camping on Wildlife Nights Out for School groups and also go out with the rest of the crew at DWT for an occasional beer or two. When I moved away from Exeter she was one of many wonderful people that I lost touch with and hoped to one day meet again. So I was trying to see if she had a facebook page this week and sadly came across her memorial page I don’t know how or under what circumstances her life was lost but it happened a couple of years ago another real tragedy of a good person taken before their time.

Emma Parkinson RIP

So all in all a sombre day for many Exetonians today.   

Eva Cassidy – Fields of Gold

A Good Soul

Andy Edwards – Paranormal Investigator, Father, Brother, Friend and Son.

Song Wings by Birdy

It will soon be Halloween then November and then 1 month from today on November 29th my brothers birthday. Andy loved this time of year when he would do ghost tours down a mine in Cornwall as well as paranormal investigations in old buildings across the county.

He took me on a guided tour one year where we walked around a mine possibly Poldark Mine and then after closing time off to an old pub in Helston for a further taste of paranormal investigating. This really was his passion and on the night that I went out with him a lot of fun for me too. I am sure his enthusiasm for the supernatural and his ability to seek out friends and fellow supernatural enthusiasts did very much help get him through some very dark times in his life and for want of a better description help keep him sane, in a crazy world.

As mentioned already in other posts he was a medium with the gift of being able to talk to the dead and a paranormal investigator intent on proving to us mere mortals the existence of life after death and the supernatural realm.

I don’t share his gifts for the detection of the supernatural nor would I want to. Those gifts that he had would really scare the bejesus out of me, if I could do what he did. I have often believed though that the spirits of the dead can if they choose to visit us in dreams and Andy has been visiting me a lot recently. Mostly just to see what the hell I am up to or dreaming about. Not to pass judgement or haunt me but just sometimes even to play as brothers so often do. And as the seasons turn and the years add up it sometimes feels as if every year I grow older and the bugger that is my big bro gets younger.

This year has reinforced more so than ever a hope and belief in the power of a good God to triumph and succeed where us mere mortals would fail. I would like to think I am more at peace with my belief in and hope for the almighty than I have been in many years. Just because I don’t understand what Gods divine plan, hope and dream is for us little hummies that is not to say that God does not have hope’s, dream’s and plans for us as individuals or as a species or planet.

As for God’s plans for my brother or even my brothers plans for himself I feel this year more so than in others how much good he could have contributed and achieved so much had he still been here. So on the one hand I find comfort in God and in the other there is discomfort and remorse for no longer having Andy in this plane of existence.

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

A little holiday

Not left Devon since December 2019 and even when I do make it away I take the ever so little leap to the county next door to visit my mum for her birthday. We make it out to a Farm called Travaskis that serve amazing food which I have not been to before where we treat ourselves to a lovely meal.

There was going to be a new Covid-19 announcement made by Boris when I was in Cornwall and so was not 100% sure how long I would be allowed to stay and wanted to get back to Exeter to have a little break on my own and also catch up with some people and places in Exeter too.

I also had my annual GP appointment where the doctor tells me how much weight I have gained and also whether I have been diagnosed with Diabetes yet. They are doing no diabetes tests this year though and luckily I have only gained about 2 kg so considering all the cakes I have eaten during lock down it’s not too bad. I think the walk to the cake shops helped a little. I also went to Specsavers and picked up my first pair of reading glasses since I was about 5 years old. I had some glasses when I was a child to correct my sight and managed to avoid having another set up until now.

Song – I can see clearly now by Johnny Nash

So they have now announced that they are going to shut all pubs at 10pm each night. I must admit some of my favourite joys this year have been catching up with people in some of the local pubs in Exeter although I miss my friends that I used to drink with pre lockdown at the Angel Bar.

Back in the old days we used to have what were called nights out in British pubs where you could stay out after 10pm, stand up and talk to people and not have to wear masks while standing up, I will drink to that!