A Covid-19 Christmas & the Winter Flues

Well since I have returned from Ireland the new Covid-19 variant seems to be travelling through to new countries and lighting up warning lights of all those across the globe that it seems to comes into contact with. There seems to be an attempt in the UK to resist the locking down of society until we have spent enough festive season money in order to give our retailers and leisure industries enough time to make enough cash to still hopefully be in a position to remain viable business even if the economy needs to lockdown again in the new year.

You hear on the news, health professionals advising us to get another jab of the antivirus, work from home and wear masks and reduce mixing in public and they also advocate the introduction of further lockdowns in order to reduce the spread of covid-19 and reduce the pressure on our health services and reduce the risk of death for citizens.

But it seems a little mad to type, let alone contemplate an opposite to a health professionals view but you have others on the opposite side of the health advocacy spectrum saying continue to go to work, party and buy presents. Because if we don’t we might risk the collapse of our economies which would result in even greater suffering and potential lose of livelihoods and lives.

I hope that there is some kind of middle ground rather than a crash and learn approach which seems very popular by UK government politicians. I think we should already have some kind of covid-19 passports and proof of covid-19 status in place as they have in Ireland for when entering hospitality venues. Ireland is very much more restrictive than the UK. I believe they have now implemented bars being closed and people out of them by midnight. Table service for no more than six people.

We do need to learn to live with covid-19 but at what cost to our economy and/or health is still to be measured. I have yet to have a booster jab and I know as I am in a vulnerable group I need to book one in at some time in the next month or two. But I feel very guilty for the luxury afforded to me living in a modern rich county on how I am pampered with covid-19 jabs and it feels slightly sickening to be being offered my third when many people in poorer countries have yet to even be offered their first chance of having a jab.

Also many on those counties have no access to healthcare services to find out if they have covid-19 let alone getting treatmetn for covid-19 and even if they could find out if they have it might have to continue working with it for risk of losing a job or having a job that if they don’t work they don’t eat. It also feels like these are all fixable situations buy wealthier nations make a calculated choice to not to help others with as much help as they could or should.

The wealthy nations or the world that I happen to live in one of are in no way free nations, when it comes to poorer nations, they are not free to trade with us as equals or to travel to us as tourists, or live amongst us as equals. They are not able to have free access to the medical benefits and advancements that we have, and they certainly don’t have as much stability in their lives as we are blessed to have due to the place we were born into not due to the people we are made up from.  

I fear if covid-19 sticks around in the long term, it will just be used as another economic statistic to prove how great wealthy countries are compared to poorer nations that will be made to suffer greater under its rain of infectious terror.

COVID-19 Outbreak World Map Total Deaths per Capita

Gabrielle Aplin – Happy Xmas (War is Over)

Moving They Keep On Moving!

Well a lot has happened since I last wrote in this space. Parents are both packing up all there belongings into boxes in their separate homes. Mum is moving back to Devon and Dad decided that he would move out of his bungalow into a new flat too. Who knew the stress of moving could be so much fun, no really who does know about the stress of moving as it is no fun and it’s not even me doing the move.

I thought the whole point of moving was to go to a place that you actually want to live, not just a pit stop along the race track of life. I’m very lucky in that I have a lovely flat and although it’s not my own the rental property is secure and the amount I pay is low, so I will stay here for as long as I can.  

I started trying to help my Dad move into his new place and pack a few boxes last Friday I travelled out from Exeter to Crediton. My only problem was I had picked up a cold probably from work and my voice box had packed up on me so had to screech my destination to the driver on each bus I was travelling on. I did not feel too unwell but my voice box was knackered. I took a Covid-19 rapid flow test to just to be sure I had not picked up Covid-19 and that came back as me being in the clear.

I then spent much of my weekend back in my lovely warm flat sleeping off my cold non covid-19 lurgy until this morning when I needed to join my Dad again for the actual moving out of property day to help direct the removal men to which box was going in which room in the new flat. This went well, and I feel a lot better in myself now and less worried for my Dad so I hope he settles into his new home.

Mother on the other hand although has sold her old home and bought a new one to move into will be moving into rented accommodation in December or January as the property that she is moving into will not be finished until June.

So that moving thing will be going on twice for her and no doubt I will have something to do with some parts of her move too. On the plus side the property she has bought to move into in June is a lovely house in a lovely village.

One thing over the weekend that kept on making me think my illness can’t be Covid-19 was that I did not lose my sense of taste although with everything happening all at the same time I do have to report I did lose my sense of humour, though I am pleased to report is coming back again now.

Supergrass – Moving

Work, health and happiness

Lots happening and finally picked up a bit of my own advice coming back to me today after I had said it to someone else when looking to support them, I think I find it easier to give advice than I do take it even when it’s my own!

Two weeks ago today I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and feeling hot in my bed but cold as soon as I took my sheets off and all-round not feeling great. I feared I might have the first signs of covid-19 and so called to get some advice whether I needed to take a test and if so how I got about getting one. With not driving I could not just simply drive to a test centre and you don’t exactly want to jump in a car and get a lift while potentially infected or hop on a bus. By the morning I was already feeling better but still concerned not to take any potential illness into my workplace. So I took a rapid covid-19 test that I picked up at a pharmacy which brought back a negative covid=19 test. My local doctor also advised me then to take a Covid PCR test which meant they posted it to me on Thursday, it arrived with me on Friday and I posted back to the test centre on Friday and got my negative test back Saturday. It really was a superfast free service.

So no need to self isolate and covid-19 scare passed. That weekend I also submitted a job application for a job at my local council in the same team that I work in. I am looking for a chance to develop and grow and also being run down by a lot of negativity and complaints that we are dealing with over the phones. People often phone the council assuming that as they pay taxes the council is responsible for solving any or all problems that they might have.

The new job would have involved working with improving people’s homes and doing disability and environmental adaption’s to help people live in their own homes. It felt more project focused rewarding and plannable rather than the reactive work that I am doing now. I worry that I am still after 20 years of working still trapped as an admin assistant answering phones and spelling things that I type wrong and not able to escape that type of work.

So I found out this morning that after my interview yesterday that I am still an admin ass rather that a project pro. I worked from home today so just dealt with my own demons in my mind and members of the public over the phone. But for those staff that I did speak to in the office where very kind and hugely supportive, which reminds me why I like working there in the first place. Working in an environmental health setting during a pandemic really has been an unforgettable experience. The people I work with are great; we all have days that go well as well as those that don’t do so well. There is a certain type of dark humour that goes with the territory of the work but it’s more for me about finding humour in the moment and in no way laughing at people but laughing with them. If you did not laugh you would cry sometimes.  

My advice is or was, don’t take things to personally when someone is venting at you about something that is not your fault. Don’t build up your own problems all into one big bundle of pain, but take them on in bite sized chunks that you are more likely to be able to digest rather than them instead eating you up and spitting you out. Fianlly be greatful and thankful for what you have for many have nothing at all.   

Moby – Natural Blues

Birthday Bash

Well it was my birthday on 12th July so had planned to go out with some friends for drinks on Saturday night which was great and ended with me safely home after a great night out. Then on Monday 12th July I had booked some time off work and met up with some friends for a meal which was lovely and the first time we had all been together since last March. I then went on to a bar on my way back to mine which is usually a lot of fun and had a couple of drinks on my own before heading home at 8pm.  

All was going well Saturday it was a fab night and met some new people as well as had fun with some old friends. It’s like I am playing catch-up now and meeting with friends that I have not seen since pre-pandemic times.

Things went a bit sour in the last bar I went into on Monday because suddenly it appeared I was fair game to shout threats to and give insults to simply for where I worked. As I work for the council in environmental health and a very drunken stranger was told by the owner of the pub where I worked which results with threats of potential violence and the only compliment coming from this complete stranger nut job was that well at least I’m not a traffic warden because they are worse than environmental health officers. Gee thanks pal!

He was taking about getting the lads around to sort me out, bare in mind this is a drunken complete random stranger, that I had only just seen and not even spoken to at all, who felt it amusing or necessary to hurl this drunken abuse at me.

I always try to be careful when I am out not to act like an idiot, bring to much attention to myself or in anyway put myself into a situation that could lead to violence or for want of a better possibly slightly melodramatic way put myself in a situation that could result in my untimely death due to violence at the hand of another.

There is something about masculine culture that can result in violence occurring for some people especially when alcohol is involved and the last thing I want to hear the next day or when I am unlucky or lucky enough to wake up in hospital or pick myself up from the floor is ‘Oh sorry mate it was not my fault I was drunk’!

I think like most males that have lived and been around the block a few times I have in the past been assaulted and it’s a nightmare situation that no one asks or volunteers for and I am so angry when someone tries to put me in that type of situation. In my younger days I used to make a move to try and stop fights when I saw them happening and that mostly went well and either stopped or prevented violence. But I am older now and feel like I should not be stepping in any more if I can help it.

I am not going to stop going out but I am also not wanting to put myself in harm’s way due to some drunken idiot the suddenly finds a kinship with violence due to how many beers are in his body.

I was the one that had to wake up my father in the middle of the night and tell him my brother’s life had ended. If I can help it I never want anyone else to have to wake either of my parents to tell them that my life has now been lost too.

Rag’n’ Bone Man – Human

Taking a little time out

Well I am just coming to the end of a week off work, had an eclectic mix of things that I have done, went and caught up with some friends that I have not seen in over a year at a barbeque I made time to sort my home out a little too, taking out some stuff to the recycling centre and also some charity donations to the Oxfam shop.

Also made time to go to a friend’s birthday which was a great quite night in a local bar on a Monday where said friend was running around in a dinosaur suit, I have not laughed that much in a long time, a good night was had by all.  

Kyle’s Birthday Suit!

So I will be back in work tomorrow and a little nervous because I am so darn tired today and have not left the flat since Thursday. I have no idea why I am so darn tired. It’s been a great week though.

I have not lost any weight this week though but I think that is down to the drinking of Guinness on a couple of nights out and also eating larger meal sizes than I have been used to of late. I did not put any weight on also which is good.

Still in two minds presently about the unlocking of lockdown, it’s lovely for us all to be catching up with people we have not seen for a long time and also be just around people in general. But you just hope that the vaccines continue to work their magic and we get on top of the virus in the long term.

A day to remember them

A day of mixed emotions today I have been advised that I no longer needed to shield and so stepped out of my home and walked to work this morning and returned to the office. Its the first time I have walked into Exeter since I had my coronovirus jab, so things on the up for me personally.

But the lives taken of two young people in Exeter were also weighing on my mind. Firstly Lorraine Cox who was murdered in the Summer of 2020 had a jury find the murderer guilty of killing her and he is due to be sentenced next Wednesday. On the night she was last seen she was drinking in a local bar I drink in which is a lovely and friendly place, always welcoming to people who come through its doors and little did the people drinking with her on her last night know when she left what would next happen to her that terrible night in August 2020. It really has been deeply dark time for some of her friends and family that know and love her.

Lorraine Cox RIP

Secondly there is a wonderful young man, younger that is than me that very recently died in Exeter and his funeral was today. His name was Trevor Garman and he was a local legend within his lifetime. He had such a warm and worldly way to him and when we would get talking he was always very welcoming, kind and a great teller of stories and a champion of social justice to boot. Plus he made a great pirate and ran the most awesome karaoke night in town, where even I would occasionally get up and sing. He was always so warm and welcoming to the people that got up and sang and really made you feel supported up on the stage and was always making you want to go back for more.

Trevor Garman RIP

Sadly after posting this page I have another soul to add to the list of the lost humans

I was lucky enough to meet and work at the Devon Wildlife Trust with a wonderful woman called Emma Parkinson some 20 years ago. We used to chatter in the office, go camping on Wildlife Nights Out for School groups and also go out with the rest of the crew at DWT for an occasional beer or two. When I moved away from Exeter she was one of many wonderful people that I lost touch with and hoped to one day meet again. So I was trying to see if she had a facebook page this week and sadly came across her memorial page I don’t know how or under what circumstances her life was lost but it happened a couple of years ago another real tragedy of a good person taken before their time.

Emma Parkinson RIP

So all in all a sombre day for many Exetonians today.   

Eva Cassidy – Fields of Gold

Today is a good day

Today is a good day to have a Oxford/AstraZeneca vaccine injection.

Today is a good day to finally let myself out of my home after having been told to shield since  Tuesday.

Today is a good day to walk to the doctor’s surgery in town and meet and que with other residents of Exeter waiting to have their injection.

Today is a good day to wait patiently inline and be directed and assisted  by the volunteers, nurses and GP’s working tirelessly to save lives.

Today is a good day for the sun to shine on my brief foray around Exeter.

Today is a good day to have a National Health Service and be grateful for it.

I hope you have a good day today too.

James – All the Colours of You

Dyslexic diabetic

So since last Thursday that is what I can be boxed off and defined simply as a dyslexic diabetic and to be honest I have been called worse.

I really wanted to put something down on here but at the same time I wanted to absorb the new diagnosis of being a diabetic first and begin to try to understand more on what that definitional and diagnosis now means to me. I have been being tested for it for years and kept on coming back as negative and not having it but blood suger levels slowly increasing year after year and I knew my time would come. My brother had it and so did my Grandfather. My mum has it and so does my Grandmother.

The mental health medication I take also increases my chance of putting on weight and developing diabetes and it seems lockdown and my desire and ability to increase the amount of cakes I have been eating also increased hugely my chance of being diagnoses with diabetes this year, plus the sedentary lifestyle with working at home more and just not having many places to go or reasons to go to them, my chances of getting diabetes this year along with my blood sugar levels just sky rocketed up, up and away.  

It was like I was playing Russian roulette with a gun that had as many bullets in it as it had chambers to fire them out from.

Prior to the diagnosis I really was kidding myself that my health was ok, my diet was ok and my lack of exercise would change. I still don’t know if I am kidding myself but I am trying to get my head around this and make changes that will enhance my health. I have been for so long focused and dedicated to looking after my mental health, holding down a job and keeping a roof over my head that I really did feel there was not much time left to look after my physical health or pretty much do anything else and I am still not sure if this is true now.

So now I have had a wakeup call and if I want to have a good quality of life, I do have to make some lifelong changes to my diet and improve my physical health. I’m pissed off this has happened I see life like a big beautiful, messy and  complicated picture that paints a thousand words or life like a potential journey to a thousand places in a thousand worlds.

world keeps on a spinning

When some new negative words or views are added to my already complicated llfe bubble, one of those words being diabetes and the second being diagnosis it just feels like what was already a struggle to live as a life just got a little harder and it sucks right now.   

First Aid Kit – Silver Lining

Although I am already feeling much better now than when I had first heard the what felt like inevitable news and am beginning to get my head around it now somewhat more and implement some positive changes for myself.

I have signed up to get advice, be educated by and taught more about diabetes by a diabetes mentor of sorts, through our lovely National Health Service and I have stated keeping a photo diary of everything I eat and drink now for the diabetes dietician to mull over and tell me what I am doing right or wrong.

Turned my light down low

Simon & Garfunkel – The sound of Silence

Well as I write this its 18:10 and my brain in the last few days has become more silent. I am not saying that less horrible things are happening in this world or that I could not quickly find something terrible to tell you or terribly good for that matter.

But as for my ability or will to write about them now has diminished (for now). I have been working in my day job since lock down and am due to start my new job on the 13th July.

I have been preparing for this next chapter of my life. By walking into the city, shopping in the city and wearing my mask when I get the bus. But throughout all this preparation my will and ability to express myself on here has decreased.

It would be nice if the job goes well, covid-19 is defeated and politicians do the right thing by the whole of humanity and not just for their own pockets of supporters or potential supporters. I tend to criticise those in power the most because they are ultimately the ones that can actually save lives and make sh*t happen. The ones out of power are just peeing in the wind waiting for their next chance to get into office normally or at least that is how it seems to work in the UK from a shallow perspective.

I hope if you have got this far in reading this that you are well and continue to be well. I really have enjoyed writing every darn word and if you get bored anytime I dare you to look over old posts there is a lot of my heart and soul that has gone into making this thing.

I will try and continue to post on here but like I say my mind has become more silent of late and I don’t yet know what that means but it feels like a positive necessity to heal or recharge my batteries.

God bless us everyone.

Florence + The Machine – Shake it Out

Covid-19 Vs Trump

Trump gives his supporters liberty while Covid-19 gives them death! If you are still alive after this butchers little escapade please don’t vote him back into office (I’m refering to Trump of course as Death has yet to stand as the President of the USA!)

Skip Marley – Refugee

https://www.newstatesman.com/world/2020/06/give-them-liberty-or-give-them-covid-19

At the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, denial was the default response from the political right. Donald Trump derided it as a “hoax”. Brazil’s president Jair Bolsonaro scorned the “hysteria” over a “little flu”. In Italy, Matteo Salvini urged people to go on holiday, in defiance of social distancing advice from the World Health Organisation.

The denial has often been tacit. While coronavirus spread across India, Narendra Modi was silent for weeks. The British government argued that the risk of the virus to the UK was “low”, and declined to prepare for lockdown or to implement a full programme of testing, tracing and isolation.

Most governments now reject Covid-19 denialism. Nonetheless, it has inspired far-right groups, and sparked protests against lockdowns, from Michigan to Melbourne.

Why was denialism the reflex of the nationalist right? It makes commercial sense for the Koch family – billionaire libertarians threatened by a more regulated capitalism –  to be against the suspension of economic life. But it is not the obvious position for authoritarian, anti-immigrant nationalists to take. The pandemic demands unprecedented restrictions, border controls and surveillance. It offers popularity to any government that takes control of the situation.

Indeed, before the pandemic, nationalists thrived on a fantasy of catastrophe: “white genocide”, immigration “invasion”, “communist” takeover. But faced with a real disaster, they have stumbled.

This is not for want of human enemies to scapegoat. Epidemics are fecund ground for conspiracism. In the Middle Ages, disease was blamed on Jews. In the 19th century, it was blamed on elites. In early American outbreaks of Spanish flu in 1918, rumours blamed it on a German plot. Today, it is Chinese people.

But far from cohering against a new enemy, the hard right is incoherent. Trump swerves between disinformation and exhortations to “liberate” states under lockdown. Boris Johnson urges people to return to work – without explaining how this can be done safely – all the while enforcing lockdown and continuing furlough schemes. Even Bolsonaro is sounding more petulant than defiant. Challenged by the media about Brazil’s soaring death rates, he huffs: “So what? What do you want me to do?”

This incoherence is only partly hidden by Covid-19 jingoism – the invocation of warlike nationalism to fight the pandemic.

Denial is often a form of affirmation. Alongside those who belittle the seriousness of the pandemic are those who admit it’s serious, but suggest that we die for the economy anyway. As Bolsonaro put it, “I’m sorry, some people will die, they will die, that’s life. You can’t stop a car factory because of traffic deaths.”

There have been subtler versions of this argument. Johnson never asked us to die for capitalism. But his government did urge the nation to “take [Covid-19] on the chin”   while the medical evidence suggested that such insouciance could kill 500,000 people. The government initially refused to shut schools, citing the claim that a four-week closure would cut 3 per cent off GDP growth.

As Bolsonaro’s example suggests, governments routinely trade off lives for economic growth. Why stop now? This contemporary denialism is ideologically similar to the social Darwinism and class contempt that, as the historian Richard J Evans shows in Death in Hamburg, led to 10,000 deaths in 19th-century Hamburg from an outbreak of cholera.

But the desire to end the lockdown for economic reasons does not explain another significant right-wing trend. This is the emergence of the so-called “Branch Covidians” – those cultish figures on the American right risking death for “liberty” – who are protesting lockdowns.

There is a tendency to dismiss anti-lockdown gatherings as campaigns entirely bought and procured by rich businessmen. In the US, this idea has some truth. Denialists, 5G conspiracists, Trump fan-clubs, evangelicals and militias have enjoyed the financial backing of the American Legislative Exchange Council and even elements of the Trump White House.

In some respects, this anti-lockdown coalition resembles the ultra-conservative, anti-establishment Tea Party movement, which also received lobby money. The slogans, equating social distancing with communism, recall the paranoid vigilantism of that earlier movement. The threats to journalists, and calls to “hang” Anthony Fauci (head of the US’s coronavirus task force) recall its violent rhetoric.

However, the lockdown protesters are acting out of their own convictions. As the Harvard-based sociologist Theda Skocpol has argued, the nationalist far right is a grassroots affair. When rich patrons offer financial support, their role is to mobilise existing networks of activists.

But the concerns of lockdown protesters are not the same as their sponsors. They care less about the economy, as the New York Times delicately put it, than about “ideology”: a polite term for the toxic stew of racism and conspiracism underpinning the movement.

The desire to end lockdowns and restart economies has brought the far right and neoliberals together. This intellectual and political alliance is based on a deep suspicion of “society”; or what the political theorist Wendy Brown calls “sociophobia”. It is why, according to the anti-lockdown slogan, “social distancing = communism”, because social distancing represents a form of social solidarity.

The coalition of Covid-19 denial remains limited. Most nationalist voters support lockdown. But that could change. Test results suggest that only a small number of people around the world have been infected by coronavirus. That means more waves of infection are likely, and therefore further lockdowns. Every month of lockdown cuts growth, adds to unemployment and risks industrial scarring.

Many people are struggling, with little support. On the nationalist right, some of the ingredients are already there for back-to-work denialism. Unless a new economic model is found, the risk is that life under the pandemic will supply the rest.

Richard Seymour is a writer, broadcaster and activist. His latest book is The Twittering Machine (Indigo Press)

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