Category: Friend

Crossing the digital divides

Reading a few posts on WordPress and Facebook this week about people wanting to leave what was Twitter and now X, but not quite sure where to go or what to do or who to follow or who can then follow you?!

I have been really happy here on WordPress though my spelling and writing style is not great at times and my punctuation is even worse. But I find this page such a cool place to offload ideas, shape perspectives and develop thoughts, express opinions and unwind in a way that would otherwise have just risked thoughts being trapped and stuck in my head.

The thing is I’m a good thinker well at least I think I am. But thoughts can often turn to fears or at least an expression of a fear and so writing them down and offloading them is a good way to let go too. Let’s be honest we live in dangerous times now, with no real light at the end of the tunnel, just yet and unfortunately things might get a lot worse before or even if they are then able to get better.

After some friends in the non-digital word expressed a view to sign up to bluesky I also decided to sign up to it when I heard you could share your WordPress posts on it. So I am now posting their too at @huwspace.bsky.social and my tag line introduction is that ‘I enjoy blogging on WordPress at huwspace.com and do not enjoy adverts on Facebook and get lost in what was twitter or should I say my X. Here to share views and discuss the world going to hell in a handcart.’

Another thing about writing on WordPress is that I could have swore that I used to have a sense of humour (I know, who knew!), but I am not sure if I express it that well it kind of might get lost in my fears and political thoughts these days. But it’s a case of swings and roundabouts I am sure I still have a funny bone it just needs to be tickled in the right way, that’s all.

I’m a little disappointed but not that surprised that I don’t seem to have found more people that share similar interest to me on WordPress, Facebook or Twitter err I mean my X. Alas it is like life I suppose. I keep on hoping to find kindred spirits anywhere and everywhere only to realise that I am unique and alone and that there are a surprisingly large amount of people that probably are not that interested in what I have to say.

Though I must admit I am a shy soul and seem to do my best work when no one is watching me. I do wish WordPress could find a way to promote itself to new people more, I guess it’s classed as a form of social media and competing for people in what is already a busy marketplace, where people expect to get a high quality product for free with adverts rather than pay for something which they must then generate the content themselves.

Snow Patrol – Chasing Cars

Sowing the seeds of descent from the fruits of victory

Elections, winners and losers, are happening all around us. In a few days time there will be a huge global future defining election in the USA. Where as in the UK the Labour Party and what we like to think are a socialist leaning leftist side of our democracy won an election a few months ago and have just had their first financial budget in which they look to define who they are and what they will do to the nation of the UK, how they will invest in people, projects and public services. Whilst at the same time politicize issues such smoking as a social evil that deserves to be taxed, chasing and detaining boat immigrants that deserve to be processed and sent back from which ever version of hell they have been forced to flee in the first place and also the panto of continued punishment of those in receipt of financial benefit by the state.

One such potential new policy by labour is to have career advisors in mental health wards so after people that have had a major psychological breakdown for whatever reason or circumstance can then be provided a dose of patronising information and propaganda, on why they are a failed unemployable human being and what they need to do to be a good little take a pay packet home earner. Such a type of policy has no compassion or care about it and will more likely result in more deaths and pain through the front door of the health service a sort of culling of those in need by those in power.   

Another seriously damaging policy of Labour is to the inheritance tax changes for farmers taking money out of farming families on their death bed. This will result in many farmers no longer being able to hand down to the next generation an inheritance of a farm kept in families for generations. Admittedly farmers never vote for the Labour party and never will, but trying to rake in money by destroying family businesses is cold hearted and a brutal short sigted policy, that will very much come back to haunt the Labour party, probably quicker than it expects it to. There will be many farmers angry and potentially ready sooner rather than later to protest about this issue with the concept of taking money of dead farmers through an inheritance tax being taken over their dead bodies quite literally I’m sure there will be resistance to this and not forgiven by the farmers for the damage it will do to their farms and families.

The weird thing in politics though is that although those being targeted now who will may lead to the downfall of a future Labour government probably kept quite when the Conservatives were slowly destroying the walls, ceiling and foundations of our schools, hospitals, rivers and roads. The necessary evil about politics and human nature is people do not like to speak out, protest or show dissent unless or until they feel what is politically happening directly affects them.  

Frank Turner – The Next Storm 

Collectables hobbies – toys for a not so grown up boy   

Over the last few months I have been keeping an eye on auction sites around the UK through https://www.easyliveauction.com/

The site links 100’s of traditional auction houses from all over the UK and Ireland where you can bid on items coming into their sales room going to auction to the public. I have yet to win an auction on the easy live auction site that I have been following over the last 6 months, but then again I am fussy about what I bid on and also set my limit of what I can afford to bid on and don’t go over what I think I can afford to pay for an item or what I think it is worth if I were to sell it on. I don’t exactly have a lot of room for displaying items that I have been interested in buying so if I were to purchase something for what I think is a fair price, I might choose to sell it or something else on, if there were some profit to be had or give to a charity even if they could make some money from it instead.

The auctions items are placed into what is known as lots and from lot 1 to what might be lot 600 in a day. You can put pre-auction bids on some auction lots or bid live if you wanted to or have the time. I find the whole searching for items seeing what they are selling and placing bids a lot of fun, even though I still have not won a bid on the site yet. Most auctions are week day auctions and go ahead while i am in work and so I have to place pre-auction fixed bid on the site and just hope i’m in with a chance of buying the lot.  

I have been trying to purchase Guinness collectables such as the auction listing below which I bid £70 on recently.

The auction lot went for £75 plus commission so I was just out bid on that occasion. I was not really that interested in having a set of monks on display in my flat though so would have tried to resell or give them away to a charity shop but was very interested in the Guinness zoo keeper collection pieces.

Concerning charity shops, if you happen to have any toys or games you wish to donate now old or new, it is the perfect time to give them away to a charity so that they can get snapped up in time for Christmas presents and make a local charity you like some money too as well as provide someone a present at a discount price.

The main items I have been searching for this year are Will Young and Alan Young collectables they are son and father who made figures based around Devon Folklore stories to do with Uncle Tom Cobley and All and Widecome Fair, they also do figures to do with locals playing music and drinking in pubs or Devon fisher folk and pirates.

The above auction is one that I also put a bid on for about £115 which eventually went for about £160 plus tax and commison. Some lovely items but it would have also been difficult to post them to me in one piece. With trying to post these auctions though to me in Exeter from all over the UK or Ireland the risk that the figures might break in the post, which would be such a shame having already survived for some 50 – 75 years or more already.

An area that I am also interested in seeing what auctions come up is old Games Workshop or Warhammer figures from the 1980s onwards and trying to buy and possibly sell them on. Again no purchases yet but keeping an eye on the auction market. I have a set of old painted figures from the early 1990’s that must now be worth over a £100+ just for a few painted metal figures.

The figures in the last photo are some Warhammer 40,000 or 40k figures made by Games Workshop given to me in the 1990’s by a friend that painted them who has since passed away, so they have a sentimental value as well as a real life one. I keep them in a metal tin and so am tempted to sell them on one day to someone that will enjoy or appreciate them perhaps more than I can or do.

💕Goodnight sweetheart 💕

Back from Ireland now after a wonderful holiday, I heard some news about a former partner that passed away while I was on a train in Ireland from Galway to Dublin. Her name is Marianne Morgans or Max and she died at the young age of 43. We were close and I last heard from her on the 29th February 2024 when she sent me a lovely message telling me to take care of myself. She would always think of others before herself and had such a loving and good spirit.  

Below is a partial cut of her last message she posted to me through messenger on the 29th February 2024, it shows a great deal about her spirit and love for others I don’t know if she was trying to help and guide me before she passed, talking about my mental health, my brother and the love and support she appreaicated from my family.

Part of Max’s last message sent to is below sent on 29th February 2024 at 1:39am:-

“I remember when you were in Wales, calling me in the middle of the night extremely unwell, confused and scared. And I remember feeling honoured it was me you called. So I knew you were still in there somewhere, trying to get out) You’ve come so far since then. I know you’ve had relapses, and I know you fight every day to keep level. That’s bloody brave! Don’t forget that. The easy way is to not bother with your meds, and let it take over you. But you don’t… you do all you can to stay well! Be proud of yourself! I remember after we broke up, and I was a little heartbroken still, bumping into Andy in the Wheelers, and him saying how impressed he was with you. How it couldn’t be easy as you couldn’t do all the shit he did at your age ( hello recreational party drugs or Colombian marching powder lol) But most of all, how adult and matter of fact you were about it. Or at least that’s what you showed on the outside. He had allot of love for you. Like you did him. I think he looked up to you just as much as you looked up to him. I was a little jealous that you had such an amazing relationship with your sibling and your mum and dad. You’re so much like them both, as caring as your mum, and as funny as your dad. Plus lots of other good things. I actually don’t think you have a bad bone in your body! Unlike me….. you’d be hard pressed to find anything in me that isn’t an asshole lol. I don’t mind, I quite like being an asshole. It means the people who aren’t worth it, or are users piss off fast, and the people who see though my assholeness and stick around, are the best sort of people. There aren’t many, and you’re definitely one of them . You don’t tolerate my bullshit and can see the real me…… which is vulnerable in some aspects. I don’t like people seeing that, as they try to take advantage… some manage it. I just wish you’d bloody tell me when you’re struggling. Because you told me years ago what sort of things happen to you when you’re spiralling , and when you’re in full blown psychosis. It doesn’t frighten me, or makes me think less of you. In fact, I think more of you because you’re reaching out… that means you’re asking for help even if you don’t realise it at the time. Please send my love to Mr E. your parents were the first parents to not look at me like trash. Treat me well even though I was poor as fuck. They didn’t care. I’ve tried to be a bit like Mrs E. poverty is the normal down here. Allot of parents numb themselves on the money they get for their kids …..( and that’s not a judgement… it’s a sad reality and it isn’t their fault. Being poor and not knowing how you’re going to feed everyone takes its toll. So they think … fuck it. And spend it on drink and drugs: use the food bank to feel the family and then numb themselves) ….. The amount of other people’s teenagers clothes I’ve washed and dried… I’ve lost count. All their clothes and bedding so dirty they’re crusty and solid. Them being so ashamed they don’t come to the house. Just help Lauren or Tom carry it all up, and run away because they don’t want to see how disgusted I might be. And … I’m never disgusted. It isn’t their fault. My reward is when the kids tell me how happy they are, wearing clothes that aren’t stiff with dirt. Clean knickers and bras. Fresh bedding … often the first good nights sleep in months. I think I probably look like how Mrs E would look when I ate 3 meals a day at a normal time lol. She’s such a material person just she 🙂basically….. when I was with you and your family, it’s the safest I’d ever really felt. Before or since. You all had a positive impact on my life. I think you all should know that. People don’t say thank you enough in my opinion. Anyhoo… ill stop rambling at you now. Please stay in touch, even when you’re well and life is good ( which you absolutely deserve) Sending you big hugs. And I’m here whenever you need me, or just want to say hello and a quick update. Much love my sweet. Xxxx

Damien Rice – the Blower’s daughter

Paddy’s day 2024

24 years ago today I was making my way to Temple bar area of Dublin for what was a really special and fun filled day of listening to live music and drinking Guinness in a pub called Fitzsimmons bar. Today I’m in Galway where the morning started with a wonderful plate of pancakes and fruit with a coffee and a drink of orange juice.

Happy St Patrick’s Day

We got home last night in a taxi after venturing around Galway city centre where we had a wonderful meal while watching England play France in the 6 nations rugby. We have been planning this holiday since boxing day 2023 and me and my Dad are really having a lovely time.

Lovely steak and chips

I was a little nervous about leaving the pub that we had just eaten in and going to another bar. But some great music came on from one of the bars we were outside so we decided to venture in.

Great bar with excellent music

When there we met Tony a local Galway lad that took us under his wing talking to us and even giving us a little tour of the city and taking us to a bar called Murphy which he said has the best Guinness in Galway and it was delicious.

Guinness Time

We are hoping to meet up with Tony and some of his friends later for a Paddy day drink. It’s been so cool to meet a local guy able to let us know where to head to in Galway. Such a lovely place.

Facebook Outage!

I survived the great Facebook outage of March 2024 and you know what, so did you my friend!

I tried to login to Facebook today when it turns out it had already been down for about 3 hours and it was asking me to enter password, at this time I realised I had about 3 passwords in my phone for it and was unsure which was the right one and the fact that none of them were working was even more confusing. I then had a message come saying they would send me a message through whatsapp with a code that I had to enter and access facebook, that did not work either, so they also offered me the option of sending a text to my phone which of course did not work either.

While all this was going on I was also logging onto google to check out if there was any news on Facebook having crashed and reassuringly all over the internet there were many articles about it being down and also a comment I could relate to saying  “Anyone else freak out and think they was being hacked?” well yes for a second yes I did.

Funny how when I was a teenager I had no mobile phone or concept of wifi and yet now in a time such as this, in a county such as mine, a mobile phone with wifi and a pair of glasses on to read what is or ia not working on the screen, are all taken for granted as essential parts of everyday life. So when it stops working we try to work out what has gone wrong or what the heck s going on.

I also wanted to send a message to friends and joke around with them but on messenger or Facebook saying that the computer is now fighting back and the revolution has began, so see you on the other side! But luckily for them I could not as facebook and messenger where still down!

The Flaming Lips – Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 1

So Spring has sprung

Now in March I hope that spring brings green shoots of optimism and a little bit of budding of new and fresh positivity like from the first sighting of snowdrops to blue bells in fields of raw emotion in woodlands of ages past. Where hope spring eternal and I am pleased to hope that a little bit more of a positive attitude and things to believe in are finally here.

Though life does not unfold like a story written in a book, often enough with chapters of trials leading to happy endings. We still interpret what is happening and write it down to share as if it were a story or as though we have a tale to tell.

One thing I am grateful to discover and am seeing alot at the moment is the value of friendships, in work, within family, at home and socially too from talking , texting, meeting and greeting and sharing moments too.

That lift you up too!

People really have shown compassion, strength of belief in me and support in a way I sometimes don’t expect. Or I sometimes expect to have to cope alone in life or on my own without the support of others, where as in reality to have that support of a call or text at a certain time or a shared drink in a bar or cheering of a song I have sung and assistance with a task in work are all very much valued moments in time which are very much appreciated.  

A rare last min photo of me, late night and scruffy but well its been taken now!

I am very much normally expect to rely on myself, but I have had a number of people remind me that I don’t need to do this all the time and that is comforting to see hear and know. As you get older you might think in some ways you are more alone but I feel if you give life and people a chance and reach out to others there is a chance that they will reach back to you too.  

Fast Changes by Seal

Andy Edwards nearly 9 years since we lost you.

A leap year is now and will always be kind of strange time for me it will never reflect a good or normal year but will always be present with me for as long as I live as a day after the anniversary of my bros death . The thing is my brother departed from his life this world and our planet on the early morning of the 28th of February 2015 and so the first year anniversary of his death was a leap year, so this year is not just an anniversary of his death but an anniversary of another leap year taking place without him or the third lep year to be exact and 9 years in total time since he took his life.

Andy Edwards my bro

I still hate the fact that he felt willing, able and hurt so bad and in some ways determined enough to take his own life. Me and my Dad had headed to my Dads house waiting for my brother to travel up from Cornwall to Devon, the night he took his own life so my Dad could discussing with him how much money he could borrow in order to help him change or turn his life around. Don’t get me wrong he paid his own way and was not broke he just wanted a career change and financial help to help him sort things out and get his career back on track. My brother was worried that his career was at a loose end and he was about to be made redundant from his job.

At the time you think these things are certainly going to be stresses for him but not enough to kill a man! I have found this year a struggle which i have not been afraid to admit in my life and in my posts and thought there is no magic solution I am doing ok and continuing to try and sort myself out. But that one night, that one night when my brother felt very bad and in a dark space he took the ultimate sanction and judgement on himself taking his life and from there we all have to pick up the pieces and continue with out ever being able to go back and retake the steps we have now taken after he left us.

A death ripples through other lives in time and space it burns, hurts and results in an unfillable void. If you or anyone you might know are ever are in that zone all I can say from having lost a brother, friend and seen my parents lose their first born son is please help and try to think again and ask them or yourself, does this really have to cause the damage and hurt you are about to cause to the ones you love, is there absolutely no alternative for you or them to no longer being on earth and alive today.

I went to a karaoke night tonight and sung my little heart out and got talking to a couple of good friends about my brother and his loss and found a good connection with them that i did not already have concerning the situation.

So sad 9th anniversary of your departing Andy Edwards will occur on 28th February 2024, I will always look forward to seeing you on the other side, but not just yet my brother and friend, not just yet.  

I have mentioned this song before its The Killers – All the Things I’ve Done!

To me I’m singing my little heart out about my brother asking God to let him in to Heaven – He’s got soul and he was a soldier, god bless you Andy hope you are doing well where every your spirit is.

Hoping for an end to the January Blues

Well this month has been a strange one some nice things happened but some strange emotions and stressful times experienced too and I guess the January blues have just slowly creeped up on me as the month has gone on. I am normally good at providing support to others but not great at receiving support or asking for it myself. I often find it better to write about stress and challenges after the event when I have processed the event and come to terms with it myself.

I had just booked a week off over Christmas which did not feel long enough and then I booked off another week in the 3rd week of January. That was nice and relaxing but felt quite out of my depth when coming back to work, which had got busy and I started back with a very early start after a night of not sleeping well. There were things I had to try and deal with that were stressful and challenging as soon as I walked back through the door into the office. I am hoping that February will bring in a little more calmness, stability and cheer but there will be hard work ahead too.

I get restless sometimes at this time of year and want to try changing things that I don’t think are working or healthy for me.

Ella Grace – Wild Roads

The gifts of 2023 & the hopes for 2024

This year has been kind of special for me with some good things happened in my life and I have found time and moments to appreciate the good things and not focus or live within the dark or negative side of what has and is happening having this type of focus has been a real plus for me.

I feel like I am a person that I in fact feel comfortable being! I am happy with my lot, I have some good friends that I know and respect and I hope they know and respect me. They help me when they can and I help them when I can too.

I have a good relationship with my mum and dad since my mother has moved back to Devon, we always try and catch up in person about once a fortnight, I feared this would tire me out as I normally enjoy sleeping on the weekends rather than going to other peoples homes, but going to my mums has worked out really well.  

This year I have seen that I am no saint and I’m not perfect and don’t beat myself up about this as nobody that I have met or got to know in life is, we all have our little quirks and imperfections, but we also can bring much joy to others and help or at least not hinder others when we can.

Sometimes when you have an understanding of what your weakness are you can always appreciate a weakness as a characteristic of yourself and maybe turn it into a strength. Although at the same time not be over confident in your own strengths or be aware of the good and bad you have the power to do. This year I have tried to embrace change as change is the one constant in anyone’s life and in a relatively good person year I have tried to aim to be optimistic concerning pessimistic times.

I do have conflicting emotions on life and my little place in the universe on the one hand I know the world is a cruel place and dark things happen on this planet and for the foreseeable future global actions and consequences shall continue to chip a little or lot more away from the world and the people upon it.

But within all that exists in places and with people that I cannot change in ways I can neither foresee nor prevent, I must still focus on the things that I can influence and that influence me, the people that I can help (including myself) and do the best I can with the time that is given.

A belated Happy 2023 and Happy New Year 2024 to you.    

The Parting Glass – Cara Dillon