Do you ever feel like the world that we live in is not as it should be?
A world not as advanced, kind and caring for you as you think it should aspire to be?
Do you ever feel you should be more appreciative of what you have and yet you are more disappointed in what you don’t have?
Grateful for the roof over your head and the food in your belly, but somehow hoping and expecting more out of life?
Do you ever feel like though your little bubble is safe, calm and relatively sane but it could be burst within a second and lead you to despair?
A bubble that though looks secure, good even inviting to others that could be burst quite easily if you do or say the wrong thing, lose a job or house or friend?
Do you ever feel like you strive and fight hard for what you already have and expect little more in return?
Well welcome to the matrix of reality, the machine of human existence, endurance and evolution. The lifeline and fire blanket of existence that tries to keeps you out of harm’s way and helps you feel relatively safe where you are with what you have.
With the threat or reality of your current situation in life being taken away from you or pulled from under your feet and the severe consequences that that might have for you and your loved ones meaning you will fight hard to keep your little piece of existence in place.
I started to write this thinking why do we not confront the matrix of reality that we live in and strive harder to change what we have or to demand there must be more.
But now weirdly for me this has turned into an opposite line of thought and argument on why we strive not to confront the matrix of reality and aspire instead to find contentment in what we have and acceptance in who we are and what we do.
It seems more often the not even just the little that we have is often too much to lose!
So it is 12 nights before Christmas day, lots going on in Exeter with the build up to Christmas we are having a ‘Christmas breakfast’ tomorrow for work colleagues, rather than an organised Christmas night out, I think the boss is afraid to meet up with too many staff that have had too many drinks in case they have a go at him, so he’s chickened out of allowing us to have a Christmas staff night out this year.
The world has some potential good news for a change and a little unexpected too with nations at COP28 the UN climate summit agreeing for the first time to take explicit aim at the use of fossil fuels. The talks in Dubai came close to collapse but in a dramatic turn-around, nations agreed to “transition away” from coal, oil and gas.
But my mood for the night is one of contemplation for the past, present and future. Sorry to be brief but sometimes a much needed mulching over of my minds view, thoughts and feelings are much needed and this just so happens to be one of those times.
Sometimes we get to witness history in the making live on TV, we get to see human rights and human wrongs unfold right before our eyes. With that in mind what is happening in Gaza is such a view of history in the making. Be grateful you are just a witness rather than an actual participant. A growing number of academics, legal scholars and governments are accusing the Israeli government of carrying out a genocide against Palestinians in Gaza.
Why are some using the term?
The term was codified by the UN in the 1948 Genocide Convention and defined as “acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such.” Those acts are not limited to killing members of the group — causing “serious bodily or mental harm,” among other actions, can also constitute genocide.
What does your government say and do they have your support?
More often than not I can see the point of a government’s view even if I do not hold that view myself but this is not one of those times. Western nations support Israel and its right to defend itself which at first seems to be fair and make sense but the Israeli governments definition of its own defence is broad and over bearing to say the least and when there is no safe place left in Gaza to go what are its citizens to do. Western governments including mine are complicit in supporting a policy in Gaza of a no safe place left to go policy.
The perspective from the UN
According to the united nations press release on 3rd December 2023 – The brutal resumption of hostilities in Gaza and its terrifying impact on civilians underscore once again the need for the violence to end, and for a political solution to be found that is built on the only viable long-term basis – the full respect of the human rights of Palestinians and Israelis, UN Human Rights Chief Volker Türk said on Sunday.
“Silence the guns and return to dialogue – the suffering inflicted on civilians is too much to bear. More violence is not the answer. It will bring neither peace nor security,” said Türk, voicing deep concern that negotiations towards a continuation of last week’s pause had reportedly reached an impasse.
Hundreds of Palestinians have been killed by Israeli bombardments since the hostilities resumed on Friday, according to the Gaza Ministry of Health. Aid was completely blocked from entering Gaza through Rafah on Friday, and very restricted on Saturday. As a result, the already limited aid operations within Gaza largely halted, resulting in a further breakdown of overburdened essential services.
The High Commissioner expressed grave fears that the renewed and intensified hostilities after a seven-day pause would lead to even more death, disease, and destruction than seen so far.
“As a result of Israel’s conduct of hostilities and its orders for people to leave the north and parts of the south, hundreds of thousands are being confined into ever smaller areas in southern Gaza without proper sanitation, access to sufficient food, water and health supplies, even as bombs rain down around them,” Türk said.
“I repeat, there is no safe place in Gaza.”
“International humanitarian law and human rights law are clear that protection of civilians comes first and that rapid, unimpeded humanitarian access through all possible means must be facilitated to alleviate suffering of civilians,” he stressed.
The UN Human Rights Chief also highlighted how hundreds of thousands of people remaining in northern Gaza are at renewed risk of bombardment and continue to be deprived of food and other essentials. Given this appalling situation and the orders to move south, people are essentially being forced to move, in what appears to be an attempt to empty northern Gaza of Palestinians.
“The world bore witness of week upon week of horror since this latest crisis began, marked by extremely grave concerns around wilful killing of civilians, firing of indiscriminate rockets, indiscriminate attacks using explosive weapons with wide-area effects in populated areas, forms of collective punishment, obstruction of humanitarian aid, and hostage-taking – all forbidden under international law,” said Türk (United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights).
Extremely serious allegations of multiple and grave breaches of international law must be fully investigated and those responsible held to account, he said. Where national authorities prove unwilling or unable to carry out such investigations and prosecutions, international investigation is necessary.
Member States must do everything in their power to ensure all parties comply with their obligations under international law and prevent commission of international crimes.
“The time to change course is now. Those that choose to flout international law are on notice that accountability will be served. No-one is above the law,” said the High Commissioner.
Western nations are presently reliving their past as a means of looking to a future as far as taking sides in the Israel/Gaza conflict.
We like to think that the west has evolved from the bad old days of the medieval crusades to the holy land or the Native Americans being slaughtered in the name of ‘Civilization’ or slave owners making profits by exporting slaves from Africa.
But with a religion focused and militarily backed supported Israel by the west war, happening today and right now in 2023 with Israel bombing and rolling in the tanks into Gaza it makes me feel that such a western backed religious concept of righteous war is a deadly and potentially seriously damaging concept to my eyes, where we yet again put on a broken record of western brutality in the name of civility. This in no way a western religious concept of righteous or religious war, that is killing so many innocent lives can be a concept that I can support, condone or sign up to. It makes me think less of those that open heartedly condone such acts of brutality and crimes against humanity especially when they are the politicians that lead countries such as mine and yours.
When people start claiming that genocidal acts are the will of their god then I fear to think that perhaps their god is not the one they should be worshiping or praying to, if it is asking them to commit such atrocities.
Well not a cheery title but I am struggling to know how else to express the view I wish to share. There are a number of friends that have been in crisis this year and in order to express themselves and communicate in these situations post messages on social media (mostly on Facebook, posting messages such as “I’m done” or “I can’t do this anymore” or “Tell my family that I love them” with out further clarifications on why they are stating this leading to other friends then having to chase them around social media asking them what is going on or providing them with reassurance or trying to prevent a potential suicide.
I find these crisis messages deeply distressing having lost my brother, an aunt and nearly a cousin all to suicide, if I can help someone face to face, I will but I just don’t know how to react to Facebook messages with people expressing hurt, anger and pain while in crisis. Some people do it so often to them it’s just a form of communication which is very confusing and worrying. I assume some people like to let off steam and express anger and frustration online (and that’s what I am doing right now!)
My Bro Andy
It would have been my brothers 51st birthday this Wednesday 29th November and having lost him, he has left a huge hole in many people’s lives and left an imprint of both pain and joy on many a good soul. When other’s are prepared to hurt themselves an their own family and friends the way my brothers suicide hurt us, I do wonder if they have a lack of insight on the pain that their death will cause others and also a lack of insight into the benefits of living not just for one self but in order to help and be of assistance to others too.
Trying to commit suicide, threatening to kill yourself or sadly succeeding in committing suicide are all irreparably damaging decisions and acts that have a serious consequences on you and all those that know and love you, which if done can never be taken back.
Surely if there is an obstacle in your life you can either break it down, move it out the way or if too big to move you turn change direction and go another way. Nobody said life will or should be easy but it is still worth living and having an experience within.
Life can and does get hard at times but life and the people within this life are also amazingly beautiful. I think we all underestimate our own inner and outer beauty that others see in us and also the amount that we are loved. If we knew just how beautiful and loved the world and our friends and family feel to us from having each other in our lives then we might not need to put all that we are and have at risk and threaten to ourselves and others of the need to take that beauty and love away.
Yep it’s true on the plus side I am one more step closer to being an adult and on the downside it’s err true I am one more step closer to being an adult.
I must admit my collection of books is and has always been very eclectic mix for example I have a book of poems from a great local Exeter Poet called Steve Carnell – who a while back used to do the open mic circuit and read out his awesome poems on great drunken lad’s nights out he is an awesome guy and once close friend –but as times move on so did he.
Book of Poems called the 23rd Mojo by Steve Carnell
The next wonderful human that I know or knew who wrote another awesome book is the lovely Barbara Haddrill – She wrote an eco travel book called Babs to Brisbane about her eco travel to of all places Brisbane in order to be a bridesmaid at her friend’s wedding. Babs is such a wonderful talented and inspirational person.
Babs to Brisbane by Barbara Haddrill
My next book is not by someone I know but I think the front cover title changed and influenced my entire life from the day that I read it to this. It’s called ‘The only planet of choice’ – it’s at the very least a mind opening spiritual and philosophical fantasy concerning the evolution of earth, you, me and the universe – the choices that we make and how they impact on everyone and everything and ripple through time and space and at most it is something so much more than that!
My next book was a gift from my mum to make my book collection look a little more sensible and again adult like. It’s called RSPB Handbook of British Birds. I found it very handy when trying to identify the birds along my street and on my bird table during lockdown back in the old days of covid lockdown times.
My fiaal book that I am showing is a dream dictionary and I have a few of these but this is by far my favourite one which is by Russell Grant and is his Illustrated Dream Dictionary. I’m on my second copy of this book now as the first fell apart from me waking up too many times in the middle of the night and grabbing it and quickly trying to see what it thought about my dreams and then chucking it back on the floor when I had finished and went back to sleep. To this day I swear I am not sure if one of those darn dreams or nightmares has come true yet! But it was always interesting to read the interpretation and Russell Grant always put a positive spin on dreams and nightmares’ which from an early age I have found comforting.
Oh well onwards and upwards. Well speaking of onwards and upwards or flashing outwards with less brightness I think my TV might be on the blink and the back light might be about to give out – looks like another adult purchase might be on the cards – oh bugger, TV Don’t go dark on me just yet.
The mind and how it manages emotions is a strange and extremely complex process, one which has not really been understood by many for as long a time as when we thought that we started to think! If we knew how to take good care of our emotional wellbeing and manage our thought processes, then I am sure we would like to think we would be a whole lot better position as a species at providing a better life to ourselves and our fellow humans.
Global political issues are sadly still savagely brutal at the moment and I still struggle to watch the news on TV, or read bits of newspaper articles and political memes on the internet. When I do and they give me a brief snapshot of what is going on, but it’s mostly a grim picture to still see. I do feel as a somewhat grown up adult that it’s some thing of a responsibility to try and stay in touch with local, national and global affairs but it does become information overload at times and leaves me feeling a little overwhelmed, sick and helpless.
In my little bubble, things should be good. Work is going well, Santa has just offered the elves a pay rise before Christmas, which will really help as things have been a bit of a squeeze at times this year. The one over arching issue that hurt today, (I think) is that, I tried to reach out to an old university friend that I have not seen or heard from in about 28 years and as far as I can see I have been completely blanked and not seen as worthy of communicating with now. This really has hurt, I feel quite stupid for being upset over something as potential insignificant in the big scheme of things as this but it still upsets me and sadly makes me feel very frustrated and helpless.
I just can’t believe I am over thinking this and feel quite sad and vulnerable because of it. There are lots of things in my life I could get upset about if my brain was ‘normal’ such as the fact I have lost my only brother, have no child or children or no partner to grow old with and feel like I have left it far too late to sort those things out now. Oh and the fact that the world is potentially going to hell in hand cart with global warfare and warming! Though weirdly I can rationalise those dark thoughts and on a ‘normal’ or good day or year manage those thoughts and feelings, and do my best to come to terms with them or have learned and still learning to live with them or change the things I can and accept those that I cannot.
But suddenly out of the blue I find a friend on the internet and try to make contact with her and hear nothing back and it suddenly send me into a spin of negativity, which I just don’t like or understand. I can count on just one hand the people that I was once close to that have chosen to cut me out of their life or refuse to accept friend requests on Facebook or choose not to reply to an email or text. It does not happen every day or every year come to that, but has happened and I find it very distressing and it just hurts. We all want to be respected and loved at some level and when someone makes a conscious effort to keep out of your life or not acknowledge a text or email then it makes you feel no matter how cool or good a person you thought you were or try to be your not good or cool enough for them.
I know in my head you can’t be accepted by all that you want to accept you, or respected by those you want to respect from too, or speak to all those you have something to say too. But it does not stop my emotions become a little wobbly and hurt when these things do or don’t happen as you hope they should or could.
I have stopped watching a lot of the main national and international news stories at present as not able to stomach the reality of Gazan civilians being killed or Trump being re-elected as US president. I am also still mindful of posting views that might offend too. I sometimes don’t mind throwing in the odd social commentary hand grenade into a conversation or blog post but it has to have purpose and not just explode in someone’s mind for sheer effect.
As mentioned a while back my local favourite pub called the Arcade closed and I and a few other people are still looking for a local drinking hole to be accepted in that we feel comfortable to hang around in. There is a pub called the Ship in the centre of Town which is great in its own way but due to its location for Tourists and locals gets very busy, which can be nice some of the time but not all the time. They have a karaoke night there too but normally so busy I can only get up and sing one song and I get so nervous singing there that it’s not really enjoyable doing it anyway.
So I am hoping to try another bar called The Bishop Blaize this Friday and see what that is like they also do a karaoke night there too (are you seeing there is a pattern forming of places to go to here!)
I never thought the art of finding the perfect pub could be so difficult. There are so many things to take into consideration. Such as the location, price of drinks, types of drinks, the locals that drink there and whether they are friendly or whether there are too many or not enough of them, what music they play and what nights they put on and when and also whether you can smoke there and where you can smoke (not that I do smoke, but some of my friends still do).
I grew up in a village where the pub had been running for over 100 years and it was great fun there too. But now that I live in a city (a small city at that) you get to choose where you want to spend your hard earned cash. Though having lots of choice does not make that choice any easier and with all the competition lots of pubs come and go!
I try and only venture out to the pub once a week these days as I have diabetes and need to take tablets each evening after a meal which I don’t think would go down well with beer or at least not well with lots of beers. After an annual review in October my doctor said that I needed to double the dosage of my diabetes medication which was only one tablet a day to two now which I think is better than having to have an injection of insulin each day.
But I am mindful not to drink too much or skip taking the medication. When I had my diabetes review I at first heard that my weight had stayed the same over the last 12 months (and it’s a relief not to have put weight on, for sure). But finding out my blood sugars had gone up and my body was even worse at breaking down sugars was a real disappointment as this had previously been going well for the last few years.
So back to the beer sellers and my search for a new watering hole continues and its quality of a night out now over quantity of nights out. The search for the next best bar in Exeter continues.
You must first define who does a government consider to be the people or more precisely ‘it’s people’. It’s citizens that live within it’s boarders? it’s voters that elected it into power? It’s own politicians that vote through its laws and or its own financial backers that fund campaigns and promote voting habits or those that profit from the decisions that it makes and advocate the policies it enacts? Sadly in the UK for many years now there has been an overwhelming consensus of opinion from those in power or promoted by those who influence and determine the policies of those in power to simply make choices that are cost saving to them, whilst at the expense of the people and results in profiteering at the expense of people, whilst decreasing quality of the goods and assets and services for people of the UK, whilst continuing to charge more for those ever decreasing quality of goods, services and assets.
A considerable proportion of people in the UK can no longer look forward to getting educated, to have a job, to buy a home and a roof over our head and then one day retire. There are no longer the quantity or quality of homes, and we no longer have the backup of a strong government to support us in providing decent water, homes, roads or medical services to us. What we receive now in all aspects of goods and services is of a poorer quality that it was prior to when the conservatives came to power in the UK and yes this is a political and policy lead problem very much caused as a result of the government decision making processes no longer working in the interest of the people but for the profiteering of the few.
This country and its people is experiencing the perfect storm of greed and incompetence, where it is perceived to not only be necessary and good in corporate and capitalist orthodoxy and that there is no alternative to exploitive capitalist ventures being only way of doing things.
This is a political view and economic choice done in order to grease the wheels of the economy and the system so as to get what can be done, done. To say this is the only way is a lie and a profitable one at that, which politicians that profit from this system tell themselves, tell us and tell those that do their bidding or profit themselves from what is being done.
A simple example of how exploiting others works well in the UK for people in power at the expense of the people and is designed to succeed over delivering a good service to the many and profit to the few. I moved into my housing association over 15 years ago and in that time it and many other housing associations have been bought up and by bigger more profitable housing associations.
What makes them bigger and more profitable is to do less work to their tenants housing stock, the less you do the more money you have to spend and can be seen to be a more profitable housing association. The more money you have means you can buy up smaller housing associations. Therefore do less and buy more puts your competitors out of business and makes you too big to be bought yourself. The quality of service to the housing tenants decreases as the profits to the associations increases. My first housing association had a community housing officer that helped me get a job assisted with me getting shoes and clothing to attend an interview which I got and was a win, win for all concerned.
A second example of a failing normal everyday inadequate, under delivering incompetent public good is that of the UK water utilities and their failure to clean up water pollution and profiteering at the expense of the people. Water utilities have been providing money to share holders whilst failing to cleanup our waterways or future proofing water sector. It’s more profitable and economical to pay money out to share holders and pay out fines for pollution that it is to spend the money on cleaning up on said waterways in the first place and then being able to sell shares in a clean and working water industry. Government bodies designed to monitor and fine waterways are too weak in order to force water companies to change to do what they should have been doing all along which is providing clean water to customers and through clean waterways. The failing current model of delivery and service is a politically sanctioned choice that fails the people but works for water companies and government bodies and decision makers and profiteers.
Purely focusing on profit at the top as a business model only, fails society and fails to join the dots of the whole economy or social structure that it operates within. For example legislating to have housing association that can enable its tenants to take the next step after having a roof put over their heads to make steps towards going into employment so as to be able to fund that roof over their heads themselves is priceless and as a service to tenants should not be priced out of the housing model. With regard to our waterways having clean and usable rivers and beaches is so health for the people and wildlife that use those waterways (and sadly as this is not reflected on the profit sheets of a water utility they see no gain to themselves to provide this service effectively) But the costs of not cleaning up the environment for our wildlife and for people that cannot use their polluted areas are not on anyone’s costs and balances spreadsheets.
I always want to express the view that it pays to be kind, it is cost effective to care and that it is short sighted not to care and ultimately we all pay the price when no one cares both politically and personally.
If the UK is designed to be run down or at breaking point in the eyes of its own citizens or getting worse by the day then it is easier for politicians here to pedal their lies that we should not help those from abroad if we live in such a crap country that cannot help itself. If we were well governed we would no longer have our own countries government acting incompetently as an excuse to not help others.
the Israel government has chosen to turn the power off on that life support, which will result in many innocent people in their hospitals beds in Gaza City having nowhere to be moved to or treated plugged into machines that no longer work. Still preparing for a ground invasion which might well have started by the time this post has been read or is up on my site.
At least 1,400 people are now believed to have died in the massacre committed by Hamas and so many tears and lives have been shed on both sides of this week’s war. A Terrorist organisation or a counties government that have a strong will and desire, capability and capacity to kill the innocent in any place and on any side should be fought against and stopped at every turn.
The backing and following of international humanitarian norms and rights has in many ways helped save lives and to a greater extent keep the peace. But conflicts do continue to flare up across the globe and get out of control from time to time and human rights and right to life are side stepped or disregarded completely.
Some current global views around the world seem to imply that human rights are no longer important to them or atrocities are acceptable so long as your side is the only side commuting them and that you can get away with that and not be inflicted back on their side. Also the view that might is right and if you can kill an enemy then they are no longer get back up to defend themselves or come back and do worse to their enemies.
But how many innocent lives on one side of a boarder justify the killing of innocent lives on the other side of that boarder. With all is going on, the fear for many is where will it all end and when, how much of a price will be paid by people for the actions of those in power with guns and bombs, that making the decisions on either side to choose to end the lives of the innocent as a politically calculated policy in order to move their cause further down a bloody corpse scattered road.
The First World War started in August 1914. It would last for more than four years, and kill about nine million people in uniform. In the same time period the war and other violent conflicts would kill an estimated twenty million civilians. The world would never be the same. World War II was the largest and most violent military conflict in human history. Official casualty sources estimate battle deaths at nearly 15 million military personnel and civilian deaths at over 38 million.
Hostile and dangerous events and action can spin out of control and lead to greater conflict and suffering within the blink of an eye. Israel does have a right to defend itself but what about the rights of Palestinian citizens to life. With Israel openly stating its mission to eradicate a terrorist group and its members who live within Gaza and amongst the people of Gaza, we will have to wait and see who Israel is prepared to kill and how those killings are going to take place and what impact this has on shaping of the region and globe.
Gaza ‘soon without fuel, medicine and food’ say Israel authorities. Gaza is ruled by Hamas militants but Israel controls the airspace and its shoreline. Israel also restricts who and what goods can cross the borders. Since the attacks on Israel began on Saturday morning, Israel has stopped all supplies entering Gaza, including food and medicine.
There used to be a phrase known as ‘Collateral damage’ during war the unintentional deaths and injuries of people who are not soldiers, and damage that is caused to their homes, hospitals, schools. By cutting of all in gaza of food, medicine and fuel while bombing people within this area and most likely going in with soldiers and tanks into Gaza also this is a huge statement by Israel to say that when you kill our civilians and soldiers we will strike back by killing civilians where you live as well as Hamas militants.
What is potentially most scary about the whole war scenario for me is that how state sanctioned murder on the side of Hamas is shamed and condemned loudly by states and citizens across the western world and yet the blood that will be spilled from the decisions made by Israeli politicians is supported and applauded by those very same people and politicians that condemn what Hamas has and is doing.
So what is a solution to this situation – Difficult to see one happening sadly!
There are several things that prevent a long term solution.
1) Some Jewish people and politicians believe they have a fundamental right to own and occupy the land of Israel and expand this land at the expense of the people of Gaza city and Palestine.
2) Some Palestinian and Gaza city militants and politicians believe they have a fundamental right to own and occupy the land of Israel and prevent the expansion of Israel into the Gaza city and Palestine.
3) Democratic parties in Israel, Palatine and Gaze city are fractured there is no majority agreement on any sides on a collective solution or bargaining point on how things can move forward for all sides.
4) The majority ruling militants in Gaza city and Israel ruling power want to kill the other side.
5) There is no peace process in process and there has not been one for quite some decades now.
6) Extreme actors with the support of those with guns rule the state of play, govern or control citizens on both sides.
7) The trauma this is causing to each side, polarisation and unfortunate growth of extremism on both sides is not a long term solution for peace for anyone in Israel, Palestine or Gaza city.
‘All the world will be your enemy’ – Quote from Richard Adams writer of Watership Down.
With what the citizens are going through on both sides reminds me of the film Watership Down. Where a warren of rabbits are warned by supernatural experience by the rabbit seer called Fiver of an almost apocalyptical vision in which is a warning that they are no longer safe in their own warren and must move on if they are to survive.
After a great deal of storytelling, unfolding conflict and some deaths along the way the rabbits do make it to a new homeland. In Israel, Palestine and along the Gaza state that’s essentially all of what the majority of citizens want on either side is ‘their’ homeland or a homeland.
Until some sort of compromise can be reached or international and local agreement on whose homeland is whose, then the suffering and deaths on all sides will still sadly continue.
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