James – SoundBack in 2020 not today, today I am doing ok
Back in 2020 I expereince my first psychosis for nearly some 10 years. I am lucky in that I have good insight into when I become unwell I know when I am hallucinating and I know when I am delusional and with the help of medication and medical staff, friends and family I worked hard to hold down my job, keep a roof over my head and get well all at the same time. I know times like now are times when I risk becoming unwell again and I must be mindful of this happening to me now.
Symptoms of psychosis
The 2 main symptoms of psychosis are:
hallucinations – where a person hears, sees and, in some cases, feels, smells or tastes things that do not exist outside their mind but can feel very real to the person affected by them; a common hallucination is hearing voices, though my hallucinations manifest themselves as visual lights, on the rare occations that I see them I know I am very unwell.
delusions – where a person has strong beliefs that are not shared by others.
The combination of hallucinations and delusional thinking can cause severe distress and a change in behaviour.
I have heard a number of people argue that Putin cannot lose or has already won and although he might occupy some land and take many lives, but he has also lost morally, economically and spiritually due to his choice of action and the consequences thereof.
The concept of what happens if he wins or how he makes a form of winning happen are quite dark and what he does will contiune to be witnessed and broadcast so long as there is working camera on the ground from either citizen’s phones or major news outlets.
The options to Putin’s victory are quite dark but those for his defeat or withdrawl from Ukraine are all still options on the table and include but are not exclusive to the following for Ukraine and ergo humanity.
There is a nuclear accident or deliberate assault on a nuclear facility in Ukraine that leads to a ceasefire.
The Russian army puts down its weapons against its Slavic brothers.
Putin dies of natural causes or is assassinated.
There is regime change in Russia and Putin is held to account for war crimes along with those that supported said crimes.
An ongoing war with much bloodshed and TV coverage that has no winner and exhaustes Russian resources.
Russia does not use its nuclear arsenal.
NATO escalates its commitment to Ukraine and a conventional war is undertaken which Putin loses.
Any other combination of possibilities 1-7.
These are just a selection of what could happen. No one knows what will happen yet, but I hope we still exist when this madness has ended and that includes Ukraine and its people and homes too.
To assume Putin must win or has already won is short sighted and I pray and hope he will not, this one of the most critical prayers I and the world has ever pray for and although I do not know Gods will or vision for the future, I pray it includes living sentient beings.
In this our only planet where we have choice on how we choose to live, why do we make choices that make it so dam hard for the citizens and life to exist upon it? If life on earth were a computer game, then we always seems to be playing it on the exceptionally hard setting with maximum blood and gore.
What if God had sent a female messiah instead of Jesus who instead of being nailed to a cross for our sins had settled down got married and had a family. I am sure the world of men (& women) would have lived through a great deal less religious and politically justified wars.
Having a male perspective on life and God, I think is a dangerous thing at times and where some sensible people would wish, pray and hope for peace. Others sometimes try to fight the good fight verbally and physically looking for a moral prerogative for war and justification for the death of others.
It would not be so easy to rouse a female divine force to war as it appears to arouse a male divine force.
Yahweh is said to have or have had a wife according to some scholars called Asherah, I wonder if Yahweh ever bothered listening to Asherah or whether she left him for an alterntive extraordinary being such as Buddha?
God in this world has been shaped as a very male deity and look where that has gotten us!
I love God but am a post Christian none affiliated person of faith. My god is one of love and healing for all, that through his existence breaths life and loves all and although we might one day be judged by god for the lives we have or have not lived, no man is a spiritual judge of gods laws, it is only laws of what man does to man that that men have true jurisdiction on.
The head of Russia’s Orthodox Church has seemingly blamed the invasion of Ukraine that has killed hundreds and displaced millions on LGBT+ Pride parades. The Russian Orthodox bishop, 75, who leads the most popular and influential religion in the country, and with his interpretations of the teachings of Christ says that Ukraine’s pro-LGBT+ laws and parades have presented a “loyalty test” to Russia for aligning with progressive values.
The Patriarch claimed that “the West essentially organises genocide campaigns against countries that refuse to stage gay parades” before saying that the breakaway Ukrainian regions at the heart of the conflict, collectively known as Donbas, have “rejected” such values.
This is dangerous hate speech. Just as terrorists in the middle east had a religious perspective in order to justify hatred of USA it now appears that Russia has its spitrual saviour and patriarch or sinner champion in the Russian orthodox religion.
Never let truth get in the way of a good religious lie or perspective. How many people would Jesus of Muhammad kill and who would they bomb and why? We sometimes work on this planet towards global norms of behaviour and acceptance and an attempt to legislate equal rights and an expression of love towards fellow human being within context of codes of law and defences in the realm of international crimes against humanity. These values are being buried in Russia on top of the bodies of those they commit to a war.
In life I like to see spirtual understanding and complexity or wisdom grow forth as if from the seed of an acorn into a mighty oak tree. At first the seeds of our perception of God are simple black and white, light over dark issues, that need to be fed watered and nurtured, then as we grow older there is a greater understanding and awareness of those around us and who we are any why we are interdependant on others. Fianlly our beliefs might like might oaks reach and stand tall amongst others and with are roots firmly in the soil, we are able to branch out and offer support and love to others from a standpoint of strengh and resilience. Hoping our love and knowleadge bares further seeds that could also one day grow and flurish too.
Though we have a view, perception and awareness of god we are not gods. My father is homosexual and is one of the greatest human beings I know, whome I love very much, if his sexuality send him to a hell then I’d rather spend an eternity in hell with him, than an eternity with the leader of the church of Russia in heaven.
China has an authoritarian cloak that casts a shadow over the world over the issue of Ukraine and its relationship with Russia.
Russia and China are strategic allies and partners although China has not endorsed openly Russia’s invasion of Ukraine it also struggles to call or show the military situation as a war and certainly does not broadcast the atrocities being committed in Ukraine on state media. My gut feeling is that China feels behind the scenes that it could potentially benefit from a war between the West and Russia with which if it does not choose sides upon and by not competing in it ends to benefit therefore from the outcome of the conflict situation stronger than those that entered into conflict.
Even worse for the global none authoritarian and pro democratic nations if it believes that NATO goes too far in its defence of Ukrainian citizens it could have the potentially side with Russia. An escalation to a nuclear reactor incident or accident in Ukraine or a nuclear conflict in Europe alone let alone a wider nuclear conflict could destroy the ozone layer of the earth an d risk all life on earth as we know it, let alone result in a potential nuclear winter from the nuclear fallout in the sky destroying crops and life across the globe or where the situation occurs.
It is only last year that China showed its distain for the will of citizens and democracy in Hong Kong. It should also not be forgotten that China has been accused of committing crimes against humanity and possibly genocide against the Uyghur population and other mostly-Muslim ethnic groups in the north-western region of Xinjiang. Human rights groups believe China has detained more than one million Uyghurs against their will over the past few years in a large network of what the state calls “re-education camps”, and sentenced hundreds of thousands to prison terms.
The truth of the matter on how China operates within its own country and what it thinks of others and what rights others have is masked or casts a shadow on the world. They are not open and transparent about their own agenda and what their ultimate goal for their own citizens or others is.
China says officially that it respects Ukraine’s sovereignty and Russia’s security concerns – hence it is trying to ride to horses which means – to do (or attempt to do) two or more things simultaneously, often when those things conflict or are at odds with one another.
So what is at stake if something goes wrong well very much life as we or anyone else knows it hence life is walks/treads a tightrope, where we have to deal with difficult situations, especially one involving making decisions between two opposing plans of action. The present is unfolding before our eyes and the future is not written or yet to take place. The fact that we are still here is a cause of optimism and hope although the decisions that are to be made in the next few hours, days months and years will be difficult ones.
Watership Down is the tale of a group of rabbits in search of a home. Fiver, a small, young rabbit, has a gift: He can tell when things are going to happen and he can sense whether they will be good or bad. Fiver foresees great danger to the rabbits’ home warren.
This film is a mind-bending short by Marco Kalantari bursting from the seams with cinematic spectacle. Set in the year 2204, the short tells the dark story of a world devastated by 73 years of continuous war. In midst of war, a spiritual dogma is rediscovered centering on the belief that everyone and every object has a soul.
Am I mad to consider prepping for a serious emergency or disaster or am I mad not to? It feels like thinking the unthinkable.
I have made some small changes to my life recently just in case there is nuclear situation that effects the Ukraine, Europe or the world, or a nuclear accident at a power plant in Ukraine which might risk people not being able to go outside their homes.
I have empty water bottles in my kitchen stacked together that I could fill up quickly.
I invested in a new pair of sturdy walking boots and thick pairs of walking socks in case I need to walk a long distance anywhere at any time for any reason.
I have purchased a new first aid kit and first aid book as my old one was a number of years out of date.
I have purchased a radio that can be recharged by a hand wind up and used in an emergency with no electricity. It also has a phone charger on it.
I have a new windup torch again charges through a turning handle which does not need batteries or electricity.
I have purchased a number of protein bars which I eat normally anyway but I have more than I would normally have just in case I am suddenly in need of food and shelter in my home.
I am going to hopefully clean out an airing cupboard on the weekend too so that I could use it as a shelter if needed in an emergency.
This is stuff that I never thought I would have to do but I am fearful that we are potentially closer to a nuclear catastrophe whether that be from a power plant accident in Ukraine or from the actual launching of rockets from Russia and it all feels so bloody unnecessary.
I feel guilty thinking and writing about this stuff. It’s easier to write down what I am up to on here than talk about this with others at the moment.
The bravery of the Ukrainian people and the generosity of the Polish people to the Ukrainians shames Putin and all he stands for and the atrocities committed in his name.
More than 1 million people have crossed from Ukraine into Poland since the Russian invasion began on 24 February, the Polish border guard has said.
Poland, which shares a 310-mile border with Ukraine, has taken in the majority of the 1.7 million people who have left their homes since the war began, with aid efforts largely operated by volunteers, as well as NGOs and municipalities.
The Polish government is introducing an aid package to fund food and temporary lodgings along with measures to allow refugees to work legally and access public healthcare and social assistance. The bill, which also provides one-off benefits for each refugee and financial help for those hosting Ukrainians, will be approved by parliament in fast track legislative procedure.
The exodus from Ukraine is the fastest growing refugee crisis in Europe since the second world war, according to the UN. Vast numbers of Ukrainian civilians have been fleeing cities under bombardment, including the besieged coastal city of Mariupol.
Data showed Polish border guards cleared as many as 142,300 at border crossings on Sunday, the most in a single day since the war began, and 129,000 people on Saturday.
Refugees from Ukraine have been taken into homes of Polish people with many remembering that an act of kindness provided to one of their grandparents after or during world war 2 helped their relative survive. There are many opening not just their arms but their homes to house those in need. This is unimaginable kindness in the face of such unimaginable wickedness from Putin.
Such a simple answer to a straight forward question that speaks volumes about who the people of Ukraine are with their strength and resilience that they possess and why we must now all look to emulate, donate what we can, and advocate to who we can, our politicians and fellow citizens on their behalf.
This answer was to a question that was brought up by an extraordinary mother with 3 young children (who thought her self not extrodinary at all), she has a 4 month old baby and they were all presently sheltering in Kyiv in Ukraine. She was being interviewed on the radio today to listeners in the UK. Her husband is working on a checkpoint and she has only seen him once since the war broke out for 20 minutes when he visited the shelter too.
She talked about the collective of the people in those shelters how they took things only day at a time. Things we take for granted like food, life and liberty are all now in the balance for her and her family and the fellow Ukrainian citizens that seek shelter with her in Kyiv.
They don’t plan what is going to happen next week as they don’t know if there shelter will have been bombed by then or even if they will still be alive (those were her words and thoughts not mine) They also cry a great deal together but somehow find things to share to laugh about together too.
Today this young mother went above ground to the shops to try and get some food and managed to get some bread and bits and pieces she also came across a sweet shop that was still open with two young girls serving at the counter who she bought some sweet and chocolate from and this is where she asked the young girls behind the counter the simple question “girls why are you here?” And they answered her by saying “because this is our home”.
Again I will now ask you, why are you here? The same answer ricocheting right back to me again. Which is, because it is our home.
The bible teaches us that during the Crucifixion of Jesus on the ninth hour he cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? This is, translated as, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Such a sad statement to have in the bible and a true reflection of the grief and sadness of the situation unfolding on the cross in real-time for Jesus still echoing down the years of history to all.
Many Christians believe that what happens is all part of God’s plan and choice, and that all our souls are heading towards Gods destination of choice for us, the good the bad and the ugly.
I hope and pray this is true but I am not sure I have the conviction of faith to believe it to be so all the time. When you witness or experience bad things happening to yourself or good people that you love and know, it scares or bruises your soul and sometimes the closer to home that it happens then the deeper the scar cuts. My believe in the presence and existence of God does not deminish but having faith in how his will is conducted is a challenge at times.
I believe God is all powerful and has unconditional love, “the highest form of love, charity” and “the love of God for man”. I try my best to work in service of god throughout my life living as a good person, but know I am just one man and in all honesty though my actions attempt to do right by God, and sometimes I fail but not all times.
But my ability to have faith in his plan is in all honesty my greatest weakness. I get paranoid and fear that evil could theoretically overcome humans on this planet and for that I try to speak out against evil and wrong doing even more so because of this.
I am no great fighter my greatest weapons are in words and deeds that matter to others and myself. I am not trained in the use of a gun or my fists. Though if I am alive and well enough and a global war was declared which my country was involved within I would seek to take my place however I could best serve.
As far as the future is concerned, God will be alright whatever happens and he will be happy and content with his plan no matter how it unfolds for me or those that I love on this earth. I just hope he does not forsake us and the places we love as bad things continue to happen to good people across the globe.
I try to speak truth to power which is a gift and curse that I have and at difficult times like that we are living through now it is one of the things that I aspire to continue to do.
Welcome to Huwspace 
You must be logged in to post a comment.