I spent some time at mums this weekend where we have been getting out some Christmas decorations and putting up Christmas trees. Dad will not be around this year and with us losing him at the beginning of this year and him becoming unwell last Christmas with his last pint being on Christmas eve in a pub out with me and his last full meal being on Chirstmas day it will be da different sort of feel to Christmas.
Mum’s tree in officeMums main tree in homeTwo little fellas fresh out of their box
When I got home this afternoon I decorated my first tree in my own home. I wanted to do it this year as with things being different so I fancied a change myself and getting a tree putting it up and decorated it will bring a little Christmas cheer into my home though it won make up for the storm clouds we faced last year.
My brother would have been 53 this year on Saturday November 29th
Andy with his dog Sam and Andy’s son Ben with his dog Defor
Had by brother survived his moment of madness, when he took his own life I know there would have been so much more joy to have come through and for him in his life path no matter which road it could have led him down. I was doing a Google search about him tonight as I know there was information on him on the internet about being a paranormal investigator and wondered what I migth still find.
I found the video below which I just find too spooky to watch myself of my brother from beyond the grave talking to ghosts. Its just a bit too spooky and close to comfort for me to listen and watch. I know he is still around and sends me and mum signs of his presence, for me it might be buggering around with the electrics on my nights out singing karaoke, as if he is having his moment up on the stage up there with me too, when I get up and sing. I can often get electric lights flickering next to me for no apparent reason too and it often makes me think it’s simply him saying hello bro.
I know there are lots of people that don’t believe in the supernatural and they believe it to be either fraud or coincidence. But for me though not religious I am very much a spiritual person and believe and hope that right and light will triumph over wrong and darkness wherever and whenever it must or can.
Ghost box In Poldark Mine Cornwall UK with GHOST- Andy “Ed” Edwards, Soph Beharrell & Nettie Tasker.
Furthe rinformation on this page on youtube says the following – This was filmed in 2010 at Poldark Mine Cornwall UK. with GHOST UK. A team of Paranormal Investigators – Andy “Ed” Edwards, Sophi Beharrell, Jeanette “Nettie” Tasker & Simon Colgan. (Simon was unavailable for this investigation) This was the first time we had used the Ghost box aka Spirit box in the mine with amazing results. We have investigated many places, but found the mine to be a perfect place to use the Ghost box. We have experienced the draining of the batteries from our equipment many times, but you can see from this investigation this also happens with Soph’s Video Camera. Thanks for watching.
The “skill psychologically of lighting up the dark” can be described as resilience and learned optimism, which involves acknowledging difficult emotions (the “darkness”) while actively cultivating hope and developing practical skills to navigate challenges and promote well-being. This concept draws on various psychological principles, including Jungian psychology and positive psychology.
Key Psychological Concepts
Balance of Opposites (Jungian Psychology): Psychologist Carl Jung noted that light and darkness coexist; one cannot exist without the other. The “skill” involves achieving a healthy balance rather than trying to eliminate darkness entirely. It suggests that there is value (or “gold”) to be found in understanding and integrating one’s “shadow” side (repressed or unacknowledged parts of the personality).
Resilience: This is the mental and emotional ability to adapt to adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or stress. It is a key skill for navigating the “dark times” in life, enabling individuals to bounce back from challenges and learn from them.
Learned Optimism: A concept developed by Martin Seligman, this skill involves intentionally changing one’s perspective and challenging automatic negative thoughts. It is about how we interpret events, not changing reality itself.
Hope as an Active Mindset: Hope is not a passive emotion but an active mindset that involves setting goals, identifying pathways to achieve them, and maintaining a positive outlook even amidst obstacles.
Emotional Regulation and Processing: The ability to sit with pain and uncertainty, process difficult emotions, and avoid “toxic positivity” (dismissing genuine suffering) is crucial for healing and growth.
Skills and Strategies
Cultivating the skill of “lighting up the dark” involves several practical strategies:
Awareness and Acceptance: Acknowledging and accepting the reality of one’s inner and outer “dark spaces” (sadness, fear, uncertainty) is the first step toward finding a path forward.
Practicing Gratitude: Actively looking for things to be grateful for, even in difficult times, can build a more positive outlook.
Seeking Support: Reaching out to others and leveraging empathy from friends, family, or professionals can provide the “candle” needed to find one’s way through challenging times.
Self-Care and Self-Compassion: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being (sleep, nutrition, exercise) and treating oneself with kindness helps build the necessary energy and resilience to cope with challenges.
Mindfulness and Reflection: Engaging in self-reflection through methods like journaling helps identify negative patterns and work through emotions.
Purpose and Action: Focusing on solutions, contributing to the well-being of others (kindness), and engaging in goal-oriented behavior can provide meaning and purpose during difficult periods.
Ultimately, this skill is about acknowledging the dualism of light and dark within human experience and developing the psychological tools to navigate this balance effectively for overall well-being.
The phrase, “The poor will always have you,” is an inversion of a well-known quote from the New Testament of the Bible, which in modern translations generally reads, “The poor you will always have with you“.
This statement is recorded in the Gospels of Matthew (26:11), Mark (14:7), and John (12:8), and is part of Jesus’ response to his disciples when they object to a woman anointing him with expensive perfume that could have been sold to help the poor.
Origin and Context
Jesus’ statement is a direct allusion to Deuteronomy 15:11 in the Old Testament, which states, “For there will never cease to be poor in the land; that is why I am commanding you to open wide your hand to your brother and to the poor and needy in your land”.
Meaning and Interpretation
When Jesus said this, he was not dismissing the plight of the poor or suggesting that poverty is an unchangeable fate to be ignored. Instead, the original context highlights several points:
A Call to Action: By referencing Deuteronomy, Jesus was reminding his followers of their ongoing, God-given responsibility to be open-handed and generous toward the poor.
Prioritizing Worship: The statement served as a defense of the woman’s act of worship. Jesus emphasized that while the disciples would always have opportunities to help the poor, the unique, physical opportunity to honor him before his imminent death and burial was fleeting.
Critique of Motives: In John’s Gospel, the objection came from Judas Iscariot, who was a thief and did not genuinely care for the poor, adding a layer of rebuke to those who use concern for the needy as a mask for their own self-righteousness or misplaced priorities.
In summary, the phrase is a reminder of the perpetual existence of poverty in a fallen world and a constant call for believers to show ongoing compassion and generosity, but it also establishes the importance of wholehearted devotion and worship of Christ.
I am not normally one for looking to biblical texts for inspiration but this just struck a cord with me this morning. Although I am employed (happyish in my work) receive enough pay to keep a roof over my head and to try to save money for rainy days and buy goods and services that I think I need in my life, there is very little leftover to do anything else with after that.
Not that I need more money for myself but there is also a complete lack of employment opportunities to move up any form of career ladder nowadays across Britain, even if I made the time and effort to apply for other jobs. Unlike in my youth, administration manager roles or project support staff roles roles just no longer exist in a way like they used to. I know people with a desire to work that are finding it extremely difficult to step into employment now and have never witnessed an employment market as difficult and competitive as the one that exists today.
There are ways and means of getting into work and you must go the extra mile if unemployed every time to prove your worth to potential employers. I have always looked to work in a place of my choice doing something that interests me as a volunteer when out of work and that has always proved so far to be an excellent stepping stone to employed work and also a huge motivator to get out of bed and rewarding me with enjoyment and self respect.
I had up until recently been contributing small amounts or money each month to the Green Party and also a charity called International Rescue. I stopped those payments recently and it has to some extent been playing on my mind. How can someone like me help people those with less than what I have.
I would like to think there are many ways I can continue to help others. Such as how I vote, what I advocate for in the political system. What I say on my blog, what I believe in and live by. Helping a friend with less cash than me with a drink on a night out or making sure they have enough money to safely get a taxi home or other little things like that are small wins that help the people that I respect and want to support.
Poverty has felt like a real life possibility for me at times one which could if I am unlucky enough or we are all propelled into some cataclysm come back top haunt me. I was homeless (for a very short time myself once, which lead to me having the home that I have now lived in for over 15 years provided by a housing association which I now also work voluntarily for on a scrutiny panel to help improve the housing association for others, they have helped me so I am helping them now. I have always found in life that when I can not afford to give to a charity or good cause financially I can always make up for by giving my time and effort instead.
I have also been on benefits in the past when out of work or unwell with which without which I could have had nothing although saying that I have always had the love and support of my parents. They will not always be around to help me though which does make me focus my mind on ensuring I am there to stand on my own two feet on my own. To think of safety nets is not just theoretical for me but absolutely vital in order to have gone from where I was to where I am today.
To pay my way in life and hold my own not relying on anyone now financially but myself is a huge achievement to me. Though some might see holding your own and paying your way as perhaps a form of failure to me it is a genuine success. Well it must be some kind of religious quotes day for me so I will bail out with another interesting quote from the bible. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven”.
JAMES – Sit Down (Original Rough Trade Version Music Video)
Clocks went back by an hour over the weekend so its now gone 10pm instead off 11pm on Monday night. It feels more like a Sunday night as I had the day off today. I went out to a city called Plymouth to a bar called Walkabout to sing Karaoke with some friends on Sunday. I hope we all had a good night and got up and sang our little hearts out.
Some of my favourite songs that I sing relate to a connection between my head and heart in the songs concerning such unspoken matters such as unrequited love, past lovers no longer with us and love lost as well as other other things that are also important to me such as the loss of my father and brother or what will happen to us all on this planet in the future (all good deep and meaningful issues on my mind of coure).
I got to sing three songs last night – the first was ‘the Blowers Daughter’ by Damien Rice. The next song I sung I was ‘Fields of Gold’ by Sting and finally I sang a song by the killers called ‘All the things I have done’. I bit of drunken crowd participation took place too which was aq lot of fun and also late night out as the bar shut about 1:30am and I got home just after 2:30am so lucky to have the day off really as a means of recovering from such a late night.
It’s a big venue with a big stage but does not really get that full so feels quite intimate to sing there and there are lots of other really good singers that also get up and give it their best. Since lock down back at the beginning of the 2020’s I have met so many good and new friends due to singing at Karaoke bars and it really has brought so many great opportunities too and a new lease of life for me.
I really do enjoy meeting new people and getting to know who they are and what makes them tick. I don’t know if this is a natural curious state of mind or brought on even more due to having lost people through them passing away and so searching for ways to meet other new and lovely people as a means to try and compensate for those that have been lost. This will be my first Christmas without my Dad which is strange and even though it’s still nearly 2 months away it is nonetheless a though on my mind.
In memory of those gone but not forgotten, loved and not lost
Today is 2 months to the day since my lovely father passed away and though I think often of him miss him and feel and know that he is no longer here – I do so in what I feel to be a fond farewell light and positive imprint of him on my mind and soul.
Some people I know are horrified by the death of a love one or terrorised by no longer having a loved one in their life or fear when others lose people close to them too and keep their distance from people who have recently lost or are bereaving. Depending on the circumstances of a death, I know it can be brutal to lose someone that you deeply love.
But I don’t feel we should use our own self suffering as a barometer to how much we loved someone or even how much they are now missed. There are many joys to life and being alive and living in the moment are things which my father enjoyed to do in life himself and he would wish for me in some way I’m sure to appreciate the experience of being alive and not be tied up in knots due to his death or the death of other who were loved and lost.
Years ago in university during what was possibly a sociology class I remember a lecture announcing to us that when we cry we only cry for ourselves and for what those tears mean to us. We have no empthy and emotions for others whatsoever. I was instantly enraged and engaged in this opinion and perspective and that is exactly what the lecture wanted us to do to challenge him to engage with him and ultimately gain an emotional reaction on what his statement said. To this day I have often still wondered about the concept of crying for other s or simply crying for our selves and was the lecturer trying in some way to express a simple truth of his or get us to engage in emotive intellectual debate. Who knows? What I do know is that idea still remains with me some 30 years later.
I suppose the debate will always rage, do we cry for ourselves? or for others? What we have lost or for those whom were taken away or maybe from knowing that we will one day be in the same situation sitting in a coffin ourselves and before that day comes for us crying or morning that day getting closer and closer for us as with each day that passes as well as those others that we love and have in our lives that we will one day lose. Why do we hurt for what was taken away or for what we might yet lose?
Dad, my brother Andy and my Mum at Andy’s passing out parade at his official graduation ceremony following the completion of his course at Culdrose Cornwall.
I sat down to write this as a way of saying I’m ok and hello and its also ok to not be ok. But it appears to be more and deeper than that as the words flow out. What I’m trying to say is to me I want to love those that I have lost, appreciate them in this living alive world and show little signs of respect and love for those I care about where I can by how I live, whether that’s by being a little kinder at times, older and wiser at others but definitely not feeling sad for sadness sake or hurt for the sake of being heartbroken sake.
The people that I have and love in this life I have enjoyed their company at their highs and lows and mostly enjoyed being with them at their highs when they too enjoyed their life. I aspire to enjoy my life and honour theirs.
This time last year me and Dad were on holiday in Ireland for St Patricks day, thanks to a bet that I won on the horse the day after Christmas 2023. It was an unexpected win for a number of reasons and so when the bet paid out I shared some of the money with my mum and dad as the money did not really feel like mine anyway.
Dad said that rather than have the cash he wanted to go on holiday to Ireland and so that is exactly what we did. I paid for the accommodation and flights and we shared the costs of the meals and drinks. It was so much fun and went to some new places that I had not visited before as well as some tried and tested places. We initially got a ferry over from south Wales, which very nearly did not happen to County Wexford, then stayed in lovely hotel there and then travelled to Cork where dads Nan was from. We then went up to Limerick and onto Galway where we spent a weekend and was in St Patricks day for the Sunday. Finally we headed back to Dublin for a few days and then caught a flight back home. I love Ireland; I love my family and feel like although I am missing my Dad now that he is no longer with us I am very grateful for the time we shared together.
I feel like I am counting my blessings at present rather than counting my curses and there are many blessings. Though I hoped and thought he would live longer the time we all shared with him was special and I feel honoured to have known him and had him as part of my life.
So we said fairwell to Dad on Friday 7th March, his family would just like to say a huge thank you to all of you that have shown how much you care for him and us. Me, Shamen and mum have been so grateful for the love and support offered to us at this difficult time. It’s sometimes hard to make a call or show people, if you care due to already full up and busy lives, there is always something else in life to distract you that steels your time away. With that said it has been so very heart-warming and reassuring to know that in our time of need you were able to offer us your love and support.
Whether that was in the way of a kind word or thought, or a call or text to see how we are or for those that made time for us and also for those that were able to see us and Dad in Spreyton on the day we just can’t thank you all enough.
With the decisions to hold the ceremony in Spreyton Village Hall and have the burial at crossways site in Cheriton Bishop, I was a little nervous prior to the day, as to whether we had chosen the right words, locations, hymn and ideas for the day. But with all of those that attended and helped us I do believe we did dad proud and showed him how much he was loved. The whole day and event was a wonderful celebration of Dads life and thank all so much for the time you spared for us prior to the service and also on the day and evening too.
I also want to share Dads poem for those that might want to see it again and also for those that could not make it on the day.
Love the ones you Love by Neil Edwards
Love the ones you love. Don't assume they're fine, because you haven't heard from them in a while. Assume they're not - and call them.
Make sure they know you love them. That can be difficult to say, but tell them, in whatever words, in your funny old way.
Take every chance that comes to do an act of lovingkindness for those who live in your heart. These things are powerful voodoo, because they work for them as well as you.
The only thing we know is true, is that we don't know what's to come. Don't just keep them in your heart. Turn up, and talk, and be with them.
Thank you, dear God, for this good life, and forgive us if we do not love it enough. And forgive us if we forget to love the ones we love.
P.S. Don’t beat yourself up. Even if you do all these things, some of us will slip away.
We are good actors and take great pains to keep you off the scent. It’s nothing you did or failed to do. Don’t beat yourself up.
Richard George Adams FRSL was an English novelist. He is best known for his debut novel Watership Down.
Watership Down is an adventure novel by English author Richard Adams, published in 1972. Set in Hampshire in southern England, the story features a small group of rabbits. Although they live in their natural wild environment with burrows, they are anthropomorphized (the act of attributing human traits, emotions, or intentions to non-human entities), and the wildlife in the story possesses its own culture, language, proverbs, poetry, and mythology. Evoking epic themes, the novel follows the rabbits as they escape the destruction of their warren and seek a place to establish a new home, the hill of Watership Down, encountering perils and temptations along the way.
Watership Down was Richard Adams’s debut novel. It was rejected by several publishers before Collings accepted the manuscript; the published book then won the annual Carnegie Medal (UK), annual Guardian Prize (UK), and other book awards.
The novel was adapted into a 2D animated feature film in 1978 and a 2D animated children’s television series from 1999 and 2001. In 2018, the novel was adapted again, this time into a 3D animated series, which both aired in the UK and was made available on Netflix.
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