An alternative to reality

In this our only planet where we have choice on how we choose to live, why do we make choices that make it so dam hard for the citizens and life to exist upon it? If life on earth were a computer game, then we always seems to be playing it on the exceptionally hard setting with maximum blood and gore.

What if God had sent a female messiah instead of Jesus who instead of being nailed to a cross for our sins had settled down got married and had a family. I am sure the world of men (& women) would have lived through a great deal less religious and politically justified wars.

Having a male perspective on life and God, I think is a dangerous thing at times and where some sensible people would wish, pray and hope for peace. Others sometimes try to fight the good fight verbally and physically looking for a moral prerogative for war and justification for the death of others.

It would not be so easy to rouse a female divine force to war as it appears to arouse a male divine force.  

Yahweh is said to have or have had a wife according to some scholars called Asherah, I wonder if Yahweh ever bothered listening to Asherah or whether she left him for an alterntive extraordinary being such as Buddha?

God in this world has been shaped as a very male deity and look where that has gotten us!

Hymn to Her

Religions ongoing search for sin has a new patriarch       

I love God but am a post Christian none affiliated person of faith. My god is one of love and healing for all, that through his existence breaths life and loves all and although we might one day be judged by god for the lives we have or have not lived, no man is a spiritual judge of gods laws, it is only laws of what man does to man that that men have true jurisdiction on.

The head of Russia’s Orthodox Church has seemingly blamed the invasion of Ukraine that has killed hundreds and displaced millions on LGBT+ Pride parades. The Russian Orthodox bishop, 75, who leads the most popular and influential religion in the country, and with his interpretations of the teachings of Christ says that Ukraine’s pro-LGBT+ laws and parades have presented a “loyalty test” to Russia for aligning with progressive values.

 The Patriarch claimed that “the West essentially organises genocide campaigns against countries that refuse to stage gay parades” before saying that the breakaway Ukrainian regions at the heart of the conflict, collectively known as Donbas, have “rejected” such values.

This is dangerous hate speech. Just as terrorists in the middle east had a religious perspective in order to justify hatred of USA it now appears that Russia has its spitrual saviour and patriarch or sinner champion in the Russian orthodox religion.

Never let truth get in the way of a good religious lie or perspective. How many people would Jesus of Muhammad kill and who would they bomb and why? We sometimes work on this planet towards global norms of behaviour and acceptance and an attempt to legislate equal rights and an expression of love towards fellow human being within context of codes of law and defences in the realm of international crimes against humanity. These values are being buried in Russia on top of the bodies of those they commit to a war.

In life I like to see spirtual understanding and complexity or wisdom grow forth as if from the seed of an acorn into a mighty oak tree. At first the seeds of our perception of God are simple black and white, light over dark issues, that need to be fed watered and nurtured, then as we grow older there is a greater understanding and awareness of those around us and who we are any why we are interdependant on others. Fianlly our beliefs might like might oaks reach and stand tall amongst others and with are roots firmly in the soil, we are able to branch out and offer support and love to others from a standpoint of strengh and resilience. Hoping our love and knowleadge bares further seeds that could also one day grow and flurish too.

Though we have a view, perception and awareness of god we are not gods. My father is homosexual and is one of the greatest human beings I know, whome I love very much, if his sexuality send him to a hell then I’d rather spend an eternity in hell with him, than an eternity with the leader of the church of Russia in heaven.

Jeff Buckley – Hallelujah

China attempts to ride two horses while life on earth walks along a tightrope

China has an authoritarian cloak that casts a shadow over the world over the issue of Ukraine and its relationship with Russia.

Russia and China are strategic allies and partners although China has not endorsed openly Russia’s invasion of Ukraine it also struggles to call or show the military situation as a war and certainly does not broadcast the atrocities being committed in Ukraine on state media. My gut feeling is that China feels behind the scenes that it could potentially benefit from a war between the West and Russia with which if it does not choose sides upon and by not competing in it ends to benefit therefore from the outcome of the conflict situation stronger than those that entered into conflict.

Even worse for the global none authoritarian and pro democratic nations if it believes that NATO goes too far in its defence of Ukrainian citizens it could have the potentially side with Russia. An escalation to a nuclear reactor incident or accident in Ukraine or a nuclear conflict in Europe alone let alone a wider nuclear conflict could destroy the ozone layer of the earth an d risk all life on earth as we know it, let alone result in a potential nuclear winter from the nuclear fallout in the sky destroying crops and life across the globe or where the situation occurs.

It is only last year that China showed its distain for the will of citizens and democracy in Hong Kong. It should also not be forgotten that China has been accused of committing crimes against humanity and possibly genocide against the Uyghur population and other mostly-Muslim ethnic groups in the north-western region of Xinjiang. Human rights groups believe China has detained more than one million Uyghurs against their will over the past few years in a large network of what the state calls “re-education camps”, and sentenced hundreds of thousands to prison terms.

The truth of the matter on how China operates within its own country and what it thinks of others and what rights others have is masked or casts a shadow on the world. They are not open and transparent about their own agenda and what their ultimate goal for their own citizens or others is.

China says officially that it respects Ukraine’s sovereignty and Russia’s security concerns – hence it is trying to ride to horses which means – to do (or attempt to do) two or more things simultaneously, often when those things conflict or are at odds with one another.

So what is at stake if something goes wrong well very much life as we or anyone else knows it hence life is walks/treads a tightrope, where we have to deal with difficult situations, especially one involving making decisions between two opposing plans of action. The present is unfolding before our eyes and the future is not written or yet to take place. The fact that we are still here is a cause of optimism and hope although the decisions that are to be made in the next few hours, days months and years will be difficult ones.  

Watership Down is the tale of a group of rabbits in search of a home. Fiver, a small, young rabbit, has a gift: He can tell when things are going to happen and he can sense whether they will be good or bad. Fiver foresees great danger to the rabbits’ home warren.

THE SHAMAN

This film is a mind-bending short by Marco Kalantari bursting from the seams with cinematic spectacle. Set in the year 2204, the short tells the dark story of a world devastated by 73 years of continuous war. In midst of war, a spiritual dogma is rediscovered centering on the belief that everyone and every object has a soul.

My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?

The bible teaches us that during the Crucifixion of Jesus on the ninth hour he cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? This is, translated as, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? Such a sad statement to have in the bible and a true reflection of the grief and sadness of the situation unfolding on the cross in real-time for Jesus still echoing down the years of history to all.

Many Christians believe that what happens is all part of God’s plan and choice, and that all our souls are heading towards Gods destination of choice for us, the good the bad and the ugly.  

I hope and pray this is true but I am not sure I have the conviction of faith to believe it to be so all the time. When you witness or experience bad things happening to yourself or good people that you love and know, it scares or bruises your soul and sometimes the closer to home that it happens then the deeper the scar cuts. My believe in the presence and existence of God does not deminish but having faith in how his will is conducted is a challenge at times.

I believe God is all powerful and has unconditional love, “the highest form of love, charity” and “the love of God for man”. I try my best to work in service of god throughout my life living as a good person, but know I am just one man and in all honesty though my actions attempt to do right by God, and sometimes I fail but not all times.

But my ability to have faith in his plan is in all honesty my greatest weakness. I get paranoid and fear that evil could theoretically overcome humans on this planet and for that I try to speak out against evil and wrong doing even more so because of this.

I am no great fighter my greatest weapons are in words and deeds that matter to others and myself. I am not trained in the use of a gun or my fists. Though if I am alive and well enough and a global war was declared which my country was involved within I would seek to take my place however I could best serve.

As far as the future is concerned, God will be alright whatever happens and he will be happy and content with his plan no matter how it unfolds for me or those that I love on this earth. I just hope he does not forsake us and the places we love as bad things continue to happen to good people across the globe.  

I try to speak truth to power which is a gift and curse that I have and at difficult times like that we are living through now it is one of the things that I aspire to continue to do.

Seal – Don’t Cry

The birds in the breeze

During lockdown due to Covid-19, this feels like a life time away now. I bought myself a bird table and began to regularly feed the birds outside my front window by where I would work at home and just from watching them feeding I was able to appreciate a simple truth – that life is not perfect or harmonious balence and there is a continues battle for the pecking order for how things are and how they should be.

The birds fly in so elegantly on their wings, but they would always be squabbling amongst themselves on the bird table trying to boss each other around to ensure they got what they wanted. I do not know whether this was because they were hungry or starving or just the way they do things.  

finches at feeder

The big birds such as seagulls would also often be the first to the table and would have the first cuts of bread put out on the table. The Pigeons or sparrows would never join them at the table but would wait their turn for the seed too small for the seagulls to successful take off the bird table or bird feeders. I never saw a seagull attach a smaller bird but then again the smaller birds would never challenge the gulls.

We picture in our heads birds such as seagulls, pigeons or sparrows as peaceful creatures of the animal kingdom. But to see up close the squabbles and infighting that goes on in order to enable them to feed is an eye opener. There is no humanitarian or religious distributor of food to the birds it is in fact every bird for themselves.

My point I hope I am making is that even though our natural environment is beautiful and offers much wonder. The natural environment can be harsh and brutal place and a daily struggle to feed and survive.

Life for us humans can at times be harsh and brutal and many times in human history our darkest times have been when man inflicts darkness and pain upon man. But ultimately this should not detract us from the beauty of the human spirit and hopefully its ability to overcome daily struggles and the desire and will to survive, prosper and flourish.  

My brother the spirit guide

My brother would have been 50 this year but sadly he took his own life on 28th February 2015, 7 years ago today. It still seems unreal that he is not still here and each year my parents and I mark both his birthday and the day he died.

The pain that a parent goes through from having lost a son or daughter is a pain that I cannot comprehend. I don’t know how much their heart would break if they were ever to lose me too before my time was due to.

My brother was a spirit medium; he could see and communicate with the spirits of the dead. For those non-believers in god, the supernatural or life beyond this one you would think him delusional or at best misinformed. But my brother was a man of honour and a truth seeker as well a truth speaker. So I knew what he lived through and experienced from the other side was real.

My Brother Andrew

Although I don’t have his gifts to communicate with the dead I do like to believe I have a good relationship with god and am able to have a good insight into what god wants expects and needs from me and others and what is the right way to interpret gods teachings and what is a negative or self serving interpretation of Gods teachings.

I am no teacher or preacher and like to think I have a personal relationship with God one crafted through my existence from before the day I was born and hopefully to be continued after the day I die too.

To me god is love.

You can write a book and put it within a library of books all explaining what in fact god is and what that means and some people might still never understand a simple truth such as that and what it means to live a life that loves God.

As God is everywhere and knows everything, your deepest darkest thoughts and deeds, then you can’t just justify and hide the bad things you do to God or bullshit God.  You can swindle, lie and cheat your way though this life in front of and behind the men and women you know or have power over or have power over you. But you won’t be able to cheat, swindle and have your lies be believed by God.

I think and hope that even though my brother took his own life that he still has a good relationship with God and I very much look forward to discussing this with my brother when I pass on to the other side myself.

There are many ways he could have survived the night that he died and it was not for lack of trying to save his live by some of the people that love him very much who tried to stop him from taking his life.

My brother also has or had a Native American spirit guide that he lived with and communicated and guided him through his life and I like to think he had a kinship with Native Americans. I have a photo of us as children playing Indians & Indians (no cowboys in our crew)

In life he was always the spirit warrior and I was more or a spiritual philosopher or truth seaker of the word of god. God bless you brother.

Sacred Spirit – Yeha Noha

Putin The Antidemocratic President

I am not a Christian so do not believe there will one day be an anti-Christ, my father told me when I was young that many people believed that Hitler was the anti-Christ due to the amount of atrocities he had willingly committed and this to me seemed plausible.

One of my fears concerning anti-Christ theory’s is that they are constantly looking for one and accusing others that they are one and that we therefore are living in the end of days all the time. At the time of Jesus some of his believes then truly with all their hearts also belived that they to were living in the end times and 2000 years later the debate still rages on amongst people of strong religious beliefs across a whole spectrum of religions about when are they going to happen and who is the anti-christ or leader of evil.  So I hope and pray that there is no anti-christ and that Putin is therefore not one to.

Darth Putin

Putin is weaving us down his very dark path through time immemorial. He is building his legacy on the bones & bodies of the dead ordered at his command. The non-believer in the freedom of thought, action and expression of individuals. The denier of Sovereignty to states and denier of democratic rights of his own citizens as well as those of others, well he does not have my vote.

His actions are not those of someone that wishes to protect others, but punish them from straying from his hell bent perception of the world. The strength of will of the people of Ukraine really shames Putin and all that he stands for.  

I thought you could not kill an ideal once born into this world. I now know thanks to Ukraine you can’t kill a nation that knows it has the right to exist.

Putin moves to war

A grim milestone in the history of Russia as a ‘special military operation’ or invasion by any over name unfolds live on the TV. Watching the UN security council live on TV which crazily Russia happens to be the ‘chair’ of the council at present allowing people to speak condemning it. Chairing a meeting about its own aggression and war mongering seems most bizarre.

It seems more likely now that Putin will invade a sovereign nation or is as I type is invading a sovereign nation live. The 23 February in Russia was Defender of the Fatherland Day, it should instead be known as the blooding of thy neighbour day.

Inflicting regime change on Ukraine a sovereign and democratically elected state, government and people is basically a way of Putin sticking up two fingers to the rest of the free world, while again blooding his hands with the blood of his neighbours.

I am not a Christian but am a god fearing man and Christianity and Christ teachs us all a great deal at times of peace as well as things to reflect at a time when you know that one man (Putin) has ordered the deaths and is off to war with others.

Dire Straits – Brothers in Arms

Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

Down to the River to Pray by Alison Kraus from O Brother Where art Thou?

The 28th February 2021 will be 6 years to the day since we lost my brother to him taking his own life on Saturday in 2015. In the early hours of the morning the young warrior was slain, and it was his own hand that pulling his trigger too. So I am the last of my parent’s children and our line could die with me although my brothers son still lives and god willing he might one day have a family of his own and continue my brothers blood line, but he does not feel like he is really anything to do with our family and grows further away from us as each year passes by and his interest or even belief that he is part of this family diminishes over time.

My bro with his beloved dog Sam

I have cousins both on my mothers and fathers side of the family that are fantastic breeders and wonderful people. But alas I truly feel that in all realistic ways my time and chances of having a family of my own and a grandchild or grandchildren for my parents is all but gone. It would have helped if I had been in a relationship long enough to ask a lover to marry me, but having not had that many relationships in my lifetime I have no idea if I could father a child let alone be a good father. I am also insanely shy, when it comes to asking women out on dates and that shyness results in me having been single for the vast majority of my life.

Me and Andy on a trip to France

People don’t really see me as a shy person but with layers and coping mechanisms I have been able to hide it well for many years and my coping mechanisms and tricks, really do help me get by in this crazy world and I feel like I have found people, friends acquaintances and colleagues who like me and I like them too which makes me feel comfortable and at ease in my own skin.  

As I have mentioned to some on here before, my brother was a very spiritual man and he believed that he had a spirit guide that was a Native American spirit guide that communicated with him from the spirit world and I believe this perception of reality that my brother held to be true. My brother Andy was tremendously strong willed, a successful charmer of the ladies and a luckily and driven man. His main flaw was he had no ability to take care of money, but saying that he knew how to take care of people. But ultimately the only person that could beat him at this game of life was himself, when he decided to end his life in one ill tempered moment in time the same zeal and motivation that had fuelled his desire to live tragically resulted in him motivating himself to take his own life.

My Bro Andy

At first when writing this blog page I did not know whether it was appropriate to write on here out of respect for my brother and parents but as it is already on the web from a newspaper article from after his inquest I feel ok to say on here that unfortunately my brother shot himself in what was described by the coroner and those that were there at the time of his death, as a moment of madness. Hence his determination to live life to the full and do what he wanted to do or what he thought was right was twisted and turned on its head at the end of his life and he used his determination and will to sadly take his own life. One of his then partners children who was then only about 18 herself was wrestling a gun off him on this most wicked of nights along with one of my brothers good friends who was also trying to get the gun off him, only to have Andy run into his bedroom where he grabbed a second gun and ended his own life then. This would be the first and last time he would try to take his own life.

It makes you question everything when a life event like this happens or when any life that you love is suddenly taken away, where was/is god? Why did Andy do this to himself? Why did God or even Andy’s spirit guide let this happen? I very quickly and with some anger inside as well as sadness at first blamed my brother for he was the one that pulled the dam trigger.

But blame does not make the hurt go away and does not stop you from loving a person or asking the question why did he do that? The moment of madness ruling by the judge is all we will really ever have to go on. I know we will meet again one day, but hopefully after I am much older than I am now and we can both laugh ourselves silly looking back at mistakes in life that I have yet to even make yet or laugh at funny situations that I have gotten into and continue to get myself into in my life as well as the funny and wonderful situations we shared when he was alive.

An Andy Smile

Most good spirited people in this world seem to have a good and kindly nature and sense of humour, and a unique and positive outlook on life and good way at looking at life and putting a spin on life’s events, situations and settings. I like to think I have one of those perspectives too and my brother had one also and last but not least the most awesome walking spiritual dude on this planet , His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet has one of those positive perspectives on life, (a fellow spiritual person whom is also a singleton you know). My point being is that you have to see the good in people, the laughs in life and have a hunger to continue to want more out of this crazy world in order to find inspiration for a million and 1 ways and reasons to continue to fight the good fight.